Theres Something About Mary - Extended Cut English 《我为玛丽狂》蓝光加长版 1998
♪ His friends would say ♪ ♪Stop whining, they've had enough of that ♪ 他的朋友们会说 别再唧唧歪歪，我们不该被你折磨
♪ His friends would say ♪ ♪ Stop pining, there's other girls to look at ♪ 他的朋友们会说 别再痴心不改，世界上总有别的女孩
♪ They've tried to set him up ♪ ♪ With Tiffany and Indigo ♪ 他们曾劝他安定下来，为恋人戴上爱情的项链
♪ But there's something about Mary ♪ ♪ That they don't know ♪ 但有一位叫玛丽的女子 他们不会明白她多么令人沉醉
♪ Mary ♪ 玛丽
♪ There's just something about Mary ♪ 玛丽的一切都令人沉醉
♪ Well, his friends say ♪ ♪ Look, life's no fairy tale ♪ 他的朋友们又劝他 兄弟，生活不是小仙女的童话
♪ That he should have some fun ♪ ♪ He's suffered long enough ♪ 付出和回报从来就不是双向奔赴
♪ Well, they may know ♪ ♪ About domestic and imported ale ♪ 好吧，这帮朋友们或许是吃喝玩乐的一把好手
♪ But they don't know a thing about love ♪ 但他们对爱一无所知
♪ Well, his friends would say ♪ ♪ He's dreaming and living in the past ♪ 他的朋友们又劝他 就让往事随风，让爱逝去
♪ But they've never fallen in love ♪ ♪ So his friends need not be asked ♪ 但这帮小子从没爱上过任何人 所以，我就不应该听他们瞎白话
♪ His friends would say, Be reasonable ♪ ♪ His friends would say, Let go ♪ 他的朋友们又叫嚷着，你要用用脑子 他的朋友们又叫嚷着，就让往事随风
♪ But there's something about Mary ♪ ♪ That they don't know ♪ 但他们不会知道，玛丽是如何令人着迷
♪ Mary ♪ 玛丽
♪ There's just something about Mary ♪ 令人情不自禁
When I was 16 years old, I fell in love. 16岁那年，我坠入了爱河
Hey, Renise. 你好啊，蕾妮斯
Hey. 你好
So, what's up? 你过得咋样？
Cool. 不孬
So I was wondering, I don't know if maybe you wanted to and... Or not. 额……我就是想问问……我不知道 ……你想不想……
If you don't want to, you don't have to. 哦，如果你另有安排的话那也绝对没问题
I just wondered if maybe you were going to the prom, and... 我就是想问问，你计不计划去随后的舞会？另外……
Or if you felt like that, maybe you'd wanna go with me. 我意思是，万一你也有这个打算的话，说不定你愿意和我一起去？
Or, I mean, whatever. If you didn't... 哦。你别误会我的意思，如果你没这个打算的话……
Did you take that bio test? Because that was, like... 生物考试你去了么？因为这个考试就在……
I heard this rumour that this guy I like was gonna ask me... 我听有人讲，那个我喜欢的男生，他会邀请我去舞会的……
so I'm gonna wait and see what happens there. 所以我想等等看
That sounds great. Yeah. 如过能成的话 就太好了不是么
Okay. 是啊
- So is that, like, a yes or a no or...? 所以……如果这样的话，那你的答案是？ - I thought I made it perfectly clear. 我觉得我说的已经很清楚了
If everything else falls apart... 如果没人邀我的话……
maybe. 或许可以
I'm gonna hold you to that. 我会等你的
- Hey, guys. 大家好啊 - Hay, Mary. 你来啦玛丽
I wonder who she's going with. 我就想知道她和哪个幸运儿一起来的
Her name was Mary. 她的名字叫玛丽
She moved to our little Rhode Island town from Minnesota two years earlier. 两年前，她从明尼苏达州搬来我们这个鸟不拉屎的罗德岛镇
What a fox. 简直是个狐狸精
I heard she's going with some guy named Woogie. 我听说她和一个叫什么Woogie的家伙来的
- Who? 谁？ - Big guy. Goes to Barrington High. 五大三粗，在巴灵顿高中读书的
Woogie from Bore-ington High? Sounds like a loser. 在巴灵顿高中读书的“武吉”？听起来就不咋地
Loser? 不咋地？
Woogie's only, like, all-state football and basketball and fucking valedictorian. “武吉”无非就是州里最好的足球员、篮球手……还是他妈的优秀毕业生代表
I heard he got a scholarship to Princeton, but he's going to Europe first to model. 我听说他拿了普林斯顿的全额奖学金，但他计划先去欧洲当个模特
Yeah? I was thinking of doing that. 当真？我一直想当个模特
Sorry. 不好意思
Have you...? Have you seen my baseball? 你有没有……？见过我的棒球？
No, no. Sorry, man. Haven't seen it. 没，没有，不好意思兄弟，从来没见过你那玩意
Have you seen my baseball? 那你呢？你见过么？
- No. 没 - Sorry. 不好意思
Hey, check it out. 嘿，快看快看
Have you seen my baseball? 你有没有见过我的棒球？
Hey, buddy. Come here. I think I know where your ball is. 嘿！兄弟，来这来这 我知道你的球在哪
- You seen my baseball? 你见过我的球？ - Yeah, yeah, I seen it. 见过 见过
You see that girl over there? 你看见那边的那个女孩儿了么？
She has it, except she doesn't call it a baseball. 她拿了你的球 但她不觉得那是棒球
She's got another name for it. 她另外起了个名字
Nice muffs. 真是吊诡
- Have you seen my wiener? 你见过我的小鸡鸡么？ - What? 蛤？
Have you seen my wiener? 你见过我的小鸡鸡么？
- What the hell did you just say, buddy? 你他么在这扯什么蛋呢，小兄弟 - Wiener? 小鸡鸡？
Get your hand off my car. What the hell did you just say to me? 脏手别碰我的破车！ 你刚才叫我啥？
My wiener. 我的小鸡鸡
You fucking son of a bitch. I'm gonna fucking kick your ass. 你个臭傻逼，我他妈非揍死你
- Come on, get up, fat boy. Let's go. 来啊，站起来，死胖子，比划比划 - Hey, Smokey, take it easy. 嘿！大烟囱，别这么激动
- Who the fuck are you? 你他妈是哪一位？ - The guy's not all there. 这个哥们脑子不太够数
Get out of my face. Come on. You want the first punch? 从我脸跟前爬开，要不就吃我一拳
- Yeah! Fight, fight, fight! - Fight, fight, fight! 耶！打！打！打！
What's the matter with you? Stop it. 你是有什么大病？别动了
- You okay, Warren? 你还好吧华伦？ - Mary, have you seen my baseball? 玛丽，你见过我的棒球么？
No, I haven't seen your baseball. 没，我没见过
What are you doing leaving the yard? You're not supposed to leave by yourself. 你怎么从院子里跑出来了？你不应该自己出来玩的
- You know him? 你认识他？ - He's my brother. 他是我弟弟
I'm her brother. 我是她弟弟
- Warren. 华伦 - I didn't realise, you know? 我之前真的不知道啊
- You ought to tell him to watch his mouth. 你应该管管他的那张破嘴 - Jerk. 傻逼
- Are you okay? 你还好么？ - Oh, yeah, I'm fine. 哦哦，我好，挺好的
You okay? 你没事吧？
Thanks, Ted. 谢谢你，泰德
I couldn't believe it. She knew my name. 我简直不敢相信，她这样的仙女会知道我的名字
Some of my best friends didn't know my name. 我有几个“死党”还不知道我名字呢
I think that Joe Montana is, like, the most underrated quarterback. 我觉得那个乔·蒙塔纳是最被低估的四分卫
I mean, he should have been a first-round draft pick. 我的意思是，他应该第一轮就会入选
Look what he did at Notre Dame. It's so ridiculous. 看看他在圣母大学的表现吧，简直上天入地好么
- Exactly. 确实 - I'm telling you, this year, it's the 49ers. 我跟你讲，今年要招收49个人
- 49ers. 49人 - All the way. 所有空缺加一起
- Piggyback ride. Piggyback. 骑大马，骑大马 - Warren, stop it. Leave Ted alone. 华伦 停下！ 别缠着泰德
No, that's okay, I'll do it. I mean, if you think he can hold me. 没事没事，我愿意跟他一起玩 我的意思是，只要他能架得住我
Are you kidding me? He's 230 pounds, he can hold you. You don't have to. 你在逗我么？他有210斤，完全能架得住你……我是说你不用非跟他玩的
No, it's okay. I got a little disc thing, but it's all right. Here we go. 没事没事，我腰有点不太行，但是没问题 咱们开始
Giddy-up, Warren. There we go. 驾！华伦 咱们出发了
- That's fun, huh, Warren? 这还挺好玩的哈华伦？ - He's a real Clydesdale, isn't he? 他还真是个大宛马呢
Yeah, Warren, bucking bronco. Okay. 没错华伦，弓背跳一个 非常好
My turn now. My turn. 该我了 该我了
- Okay, well, I don't... 额……好吧，但是我可能…… - It's okay, Ted. You don't have to. 没关系泰德，不想玩就算了
- Giddy-up. Giddy-up. 驾！ 驾！ - That's fun. 确实挺好玩的
That's fun, huh, Warren? 好玩吧华伦？
That was fun. 好玩
- He's only 230, huh? 他就210斤哈？ - Yeah. 是啊
- I'm in the yard now. I'll hide. 哦，我现在在院子里啦，我要躲起来 - Okay, go hide. 好啊，快去藏好
- He's got a lot of energy. 他还真有活力 - Yeah. 是啊
- He's great. I have a lot of fun with him. 他是个好孩子，跟他在一起很好玩的 - Yeah. 是啊
- Thanks for walking us back. 谢谢你送我们回来 - Yeah, no problem. 哦，没什么的啦
- I'm just gonna-I'm gonna... 我计划去……去…… - So are you going to the prom? 你打算去舞会么？
- I think proms are dumb. 我觉得所有的舞会都傻了吧唧的 - I thought maybe we could go together. 我想得我们能一起去
Oh, you're gonna go with, like, a bunch of people, or...? 噢，你打算跟一帮人一块，还是？
Yeah. If you want a designated driver... 是啊，但是，如果你需要一个专职司机的话……
No, no. I mean you and me. 不不不，我是说，你和我两个人
Like, we could go together. The two of us. 意思就是，就咱俩，一起去
- You and me? 你和我？ - Yeah. 没错
Well, is that a yes or a no? 好吧，你的选择是？
- Sure. All right. 好吧，可以 - Good. 太好了
Cool. 完美
I'm gonna take Warren back inside. I'll see you at school. 我要带华伦进屋去了 学校见
- Bye. 再见 - Cool. Catch you back at school. 好嘞，随后学校见
From that moment on, the guys at school looked at me in a whole new light. 有那么一瞬间，我认为学校里的那群屌丝们会把我当成他们的神
You're a fucking liar. 你就是一个他妈的大屁眼子
Do you expect us to believe that you're going to the prom with Mary? 你还真以为我们会相信，你能跟玛丽一起去舞会？
What's so crazy about that? 这有什么好惊讶的
Oh, yeah, dirt bud, and I'm going with Cyndi Lauper. 噢是啊你个癞蛤蟆，我还能跟辛蒂·露波一块去呢
- What happened to Woogie? 武吉怎么了 - She said she broke up with him. 她说她把武吉甩了
- That he was getting weird on her. 他对她的态度越来越奇怪了 - I got 20 bucks that says you're full of shit. 我跟你赌二十块钱，那个理由是扯淡来的
- Why not make it a hundred? 要不咱俩赌一百？ - Rock on. 行啊
- I'm in. 我赌了 - Me too. 算我一个
I've paid him enough money. I'm not paying until the job gets done. He can kiss my ass. 我已经给了他不少钱了，在他干完活以前我不会再给他一毛钱 不服来咬我啊
What the hell do you want? 你又想咋地
I'm Ted Stroehmann. I'm here to take Mary to the prom. 我是泰德·施特勒曼 我来这接玛丽去舞会
Prom? 舞会？
Mary went to the prom 20 minutes ago with her boyfriend, Woogie. 玛丽二十分钟前就去参加舞会了，她男朋友武吉来接的她
- Woogie? 武吉？ - Woogie. 是啊
I see. 我知道了
Charlie, you are so mean. 查理，你真是个刻薄鬼
This is Mary's stepfather, Charlie. I'm Sheila, her mother. 这是玛丽的继父，查理。我是希拉，她妈妈
Ted, don't pay attention to anything he says. He's a laugh a minute. 泰德，别听这个货说的任何话，他都在里面笑了一分钟了
That's very funny. 这确实蛮好笑的
I'm just having a little fun with the guy. It's prom night. 我就跟这个小伙子开两句玩笑嘛 今晚上可是有舞会呢
Woogie's got a sense of humour. 武吉倒真的有点幽默感
Oh, hey. Hi, Warren. 嘿，你好啊华伦
Listen, once he gets into that MTV, he'll be there for quite a while. 听着，只要他看开音乐电视，就能乖乖坐那好一会了
Here she comes. Oh, honey, you look beautiful. 她来啦 哦，亲爱的，你真漂亮
Shit, look at that. You better be careful, boy. 我靠，看看我这宝贝闺女，你最好给我加点小心 小子
Hi, Ted. 你好哇 泰德
Hi, Mary. You look really pretty. 你好啊玛丽，你看起来真的 太美了
Thanks. I like your colours. 谢谢，你也是多姿多彩啊
Oh, thanks. The guy said it was tan and taupe. 噢 谢谢 卖我衣服那人说这是说是棕褐色和灰褐色
Poor Ted's been getting it both barrels from the Wisenheimer here. 可怜的泰德已经被这个大嘴巴闪了两下了
Dad, you haven't been busting Ted's chops, have you? 爸爸，你没有跟泰德乱开玩笑吧？
I was just fucking with him, right, Ted? You know. 我就是跟他闹着玩呢，是吧 泰德
- Hey, Warren, did you say hi to Ted? 嘿，华伦，你有没有跟泰德问好 - About 10 times. 我都问了十次了
Okay. 好吧
Hey, Warren, I think I found your baseball. 嘿华伦，我找到你的棒球了
- You've seen my baseball? 你找到我的棒球了？ - Well, if it's a big white one? 或许，它是不是又大又白？
With little red stitching? 还有一点红色缝在上面？
Yup, it is. 是啊
Then I think I saw it right behind your ear. 那我确定我找到它了，就在你的耳朵后面
Warren, Warren, Warren. Hold it. 华伦 华伦 别激动
Get up, boy. Hey, Warren. 站起来兄弟 嘿 华伦
Be careful, man. 小心点啊 兄弟
- Get up, man. 站起来啊 - Warren. 华伦
Let go of him. Get down from there. 放开他 马上把他放下来
- Hey, Ted, what are you doing, man? 嘿泰德，你在干啥呢 - Ted.Ted. 泰德 泰德
Warren, put him down now. 华伦 把他放下 现在就放
- What the hell are you doing? 你他妈在干啥 - Here, here. Mary, come around here. 来这，来这玛丽
This is my house, here. 这是我家，来这
- Okay, sweetheart, okay. 好吧宝贝，好吧 - It's okay, Warren. It's okay. Here you go. 没事的华伦，没事，来戴上
- What's the matter with you? 你有什么毛病 - I was trying to give him the baseball. 我就是想把球给他
- Baseball? What baseball? 球？什么球？ - I had a baseball. I know he likes baseball. 我有个棒球，我知道他喜欢棒球
- What baseball? 什么棒球？ - There was a... It's right... 这不就是……它就在……
There was a baseball here, I swear. 这原来有个棒球来着啊，我对天发誓
I brought him a baseball, and I was just trying to give him a present. 我给他买了个新棒球，打算送给他当礼物的
- Are you yelling at me？Are you yelling at me in my own house? 你敢吼我？ 你敢在我家里面吼我？ - No. 没有啊
Don't make me have to open a can of whup-ass on you. 别逼我请你吃一顿竹笋炒肉
Ted, I should have told you. He has a thing about his ears. 泰德，我应该告诉你的，华伦的耳朵有一点毛病
You all right, Warren? 你还好么华伦？
Honey, your strap's broken. 宝贝，你的带子断了
You're right. 还真断了
Hey, Ted, I'm just gonna go upstairs real quick, okay? 嘿 泰德 我去一下楼上，很快
I just need two minutes. 就两分钟
- I gotta fix my dress. 我得缝好我的裙子 - I'll help you, honey. 我来帮你亲爱的
- Yeah, yeah. 好啊 好啊 - Can I use your bathroom, sir? 先生 我能上个厕所么
I've gotta... 我得……
- He broke the table. 他弄坏了桌子 - Son of a bitch. 王八操的
- I didn't do it. 我没有啊 - It's all right. It's all right. 没事的 没事的
- I swear there was... 我发誓这…… - The bathroom is that way！ 厕所在这边！
A baseball. 一个棒球
Maybe I'll open up a can of whup-ass on him. 我这马屁真是拍在马蹄子上了
Trying to do the kid a favour. 都多余帮这孩子找乐子
Is he looking at you? What is he...? 他是不是在看你？他有什么……
- What is he doing down there? 他在下面干啥呢这是 - Oh, no, I... 哦，不 我
- No, no, I wasn't... I wasn't... 不不不，我没有 我没有 - Mom, wait. 妈妈 等等
- Cover yourself. Cover yourself. 躲起来！找掩护！ - Shit! 我去
- Ted, are you okay? 泰德 你没事吧？ - Yeah, I'm fine. Every thing's okay. 没事没事，都挺好
Okay Okay, just take your time. It's all right. 没事没事，按你的意思来，没关系的
You know, he's been in there over a half an hour. 你知道他在这蹲了得有一个半小时了吧
Charlie, I think he's masturbating. 查理，我觉得他在这自慰呢
- Oh, come on. 老天鹅啊 - Mom. 妈妈
He's not masturbating. 他没有自慰
He was watching you undress with a silly grin on his face. 他就是在这跟个痴汉一样看你的裙子呢
No, I was watching the birds. 没有，我那是看了看鸟
- Do something. 你倒是阻拦一下啊 - What do you want me to do? 你让我咋阻拦
I think he needs some male help. 我觉得他需要一个男人来帮助他
- Oh, for crying out... 老天，真日了狗了…… - No, Dad, just give him a minute. 不爸爸，你就让他一个人静一下
- Okay, kid. Listen, I'm coming in, okay? 好吧孩子，听着 我要进去了啊 - No, no. Don't. 别别别，等一下
Now, exactly what the hell is the situation? What, did you shit yourself? 现在到底是他妈的什么情况？ 咋地，你拉在你自己身上了？
Oh, I wish. 呵呵……我倒是希望这样呢
I got it stuck. 我卡住了
You got what stuck? 你哪里卡住了？
It. 那里
Well, listen, it's not the end of the world. These kind of things happen. 好吧，问题不大 这种事经常发生的
Let's have a look at it. 让我进去看看
Oh, for God and heaven's sake! 我去了个老天爷啊！
- Quiet. 闭嘴 - Sheila. 希拉
- No. 不 - Sheila, honey? 希拉 亲爱的
Don't... 不要……
Sheila, honey, you gotta come here. You gotta see this. 希拉，亲爱的，你一定得看看这玩意，一定得看看
- What is it? 看啥啊 - What? No. 看……不
- Come in here, honey. 进来吧亲爱的 - No. No, don't. 别 别 别进来
Don't worry, she's a dental hygienist. She'll know what to do. 别担心啊，她以前是个非常温柔的牙医护士呢 她知道该怎么办
- Hi, Ted. 你好啊泰德 - Hi, Mrs. Jensen. How are you? 你好啊 詹森太太 你过得咋样
- You okay? 你还好吧？ - Yeah. 非常好
Holy shit. 哎呦我去
- Charlie, you could have warned me. 查理，你倒是提醒我一下啊 - Keep it down. 别动它
- Okay, I... 好好好，我…… - I'm sorry, Mrs. Jensen. 我真的很抱歉
I don't want Mary to... I don't want her to hear. 我不想让玛丽……不想让她听到
Yeah. Let's just relax here, okay? 是啊，我们先放轻松好吧？
Now, what exactly are we looking at here? 所以说现在，我们到底在看什么东西
- What do you mean? What...? 你什么意思？ - Well, I mean, is it the...? 我的意思是，这是……
Or the...? 或者是……
- Is it the frank or the beans? 这是丁丁还是蛋蛋？ - Right. 没错
I don't know. It looks like... I think it's a little bit of both. 我不好说，这玩意看起来……看起来两者都有点吧
- Franks and beans. Franks and beans. 法兰克香肠炖豆子！ 法兰克香肠炖豆子！ - Warren, quiet. 华伦 别说了
- What's that bubble there? 那这些泡泡是什么？ - What do you think? It's a... 你觉得呢？这是……
Well, how the hell did you get the beans above the frank? I mean... 好吧，你是怎么把蛋蛋弄在弄在丁丁上面的？我是说……
I don't know. It wasn't like it was a well-thought-out plan. 我也不知道，这又不是我事先深思熟虑计划好的
You know, there really does seem to be a lot of skin coming through there... 你知道，这真的很像一大块皮从这块穿过去
so I'm gonna find some Bactine, honey. 所以，我要找一些云南白药了 亲爱的
No. You know what? I don't need any. Really. 不用不用，我一点也不需要，真的
- Hello there. 大家好啊 - Oh, Christ. 哦我去
What the hell's going on here? 这发生什么了
- Neighbours said they heard a lady scream. 邻居们说他们听见一个女孩的尖叫了 - Well, you're looking at him. 额，你再看看他
You gotta take a look at this thing. 你得看看这玩意
- Oh, Jesus. 呕 上帝呀 - Ain't it a beaut? 不太好看是吧
What the hell were you thinking? 你他妈到底在想什么花活呢？
How the hell did you get the zipper all the way to the top? 你他妈的怎么把拉链拉到这上面的？
Well, let's just say the kid's limber. 额……我们姑且认为是这孩子太灵活了吧
- Christ. What the...? God. 老天鹅 这怎么……日 - You okay? 你还好吧
Somebody's gonna have to move that station waggon so I can get in. 谁挪一下门口那个车，要不我车开不进去
- Lenny, come here. 兰尼，来一下 - Who...? 谁？
Take a look at what this numb nuts did. 看看这个沙雕干的这蠢事
Holy shit. 我了个去
Mike, Eddie, get down here quick. Bring everybody. Bring a camera. 麦克，埃迪 都来 都快点来 把大家伙都叫来 顺便带上相机
You're not gonna believe this. We got a kid down here... 你绝对不会相信的 这有个孩子……
- What's your name? 你是哪位啊？ - No, I... 不 我……
No, there's only one thing to do here. 不不不，这就一件事需要做
What? No. You know what? I got an idea. Look, look. I can just... 蛤？不不不，你知道么，我有个好点子 看 看 我能把这个……
We don't have to do anything, because, look, I can just wear this over the front. 我们啥都不用干，因为 看 我可以把这个穿在前面
- I can go to the prom, deal with it later. 我能去舞会 稍后再管这事 - Son, relax. 孩子 放轻松
You already laid the tracks. That's the hard part. 你已经把道画好了，这是最难的部分了
Now we're just gonna back it up. 现在，我们只需要往回倒一步
Teddy, be brave. 泰迪，加油啊
It's just like pulling off a Band-Aid. 这就像是把膏药撕下来一样
A one and a two... 我数一……二……
and a... 准备数……
- We got a bleeder. 这玩意流血了 - Keep the pressure on it. Keep it on. 按住它，按住
Everybody get out of the way. 所有人闪开
- He was masturbating. 他刚才在手淫 - People, please move out of the way. 大家伙！让开咱家门口这吧
- Please, move. This is serious, people. 求你们了动一动 这不是闹着玩的 - He was masturbating. 他刚才肯定打飞机了
- Move out of the way. 闪开！ 都闪开！ - None of this ever happened to Woogie. 武吉就不会干出来这蠢事
Are you okay, Ted? 泰德，你没事吧
- Ted. 泰德 - He was masturbating. 他刚才在自慰
- My God, are you all right? 老天啊，你没事吧 - Killer. 帅爆了
Okay. Okay, Ted. 好吧好吧，泰德
- Okay, let's roll. 好吧，咱们走 - All right, folks, it's over. Go home. 好啦大家伙，这事不要再讨论了，都回家吧
Let's go. It's over. 走吧，这没戏看了
So anyway, school ended a couple of days later... 不管咋样，学校过几天就放假了……
and her father got transferred to Florida in July. 而她的父亲，在七月份工作调动到了佛罗里达
So I worked all summer to pay off those debts and... 而我整个暑假都在打工 还之前打赌的债……
well, I never saw Mary again. 所以 我再也没有见过玛丽
That was, what? 这是大概？
- Thirteen years ago. 十三年前的故事 - Well, that's very interesting. 好吧，这还真是个激动人心的好故事
Anyway, I know it's not the type of thing you'd forget, but I guess I just... 不管咋说，我知道这不是那种一眨眼就能忘掉的事情，但我只是觉得……
I kind of, you know... 我有点……你懂的
I must have blocked it out of my head or something... 我必须把它深埋在心里，或者脑海里……
because I was driving down the highway last week... 因为就在上个礼拜，我在高速上开车的时候……
and I started thinking about Mary, and all of a sudden... 我开始想念玛丽 并且突然之间……
it was like I couldn't breathe. I mean, I was... I was... 我想她想的无法呼吸，我是说，我……我……
I felt like I was gonna die. 我觉得我要死掉了
So I pulled off the road and I just sort of stopped in this... 所以我在路边拉了手刹，停下来休息
I guess it was a rest area. I was just kind of shaking, and... 那应该是个休息区 然后我就开始颤抖了，并且……
You know, rest areas are homosexual hangouts. 你知道吧……休息区的“基味”都比较浓
Highway rest areas. 尤其是高速路的休息区
They're the bathhouses of the '90s for many, many, many gay men. 这是90年代很多很多基佬的专属澡堂
So, what are you...? 所以……你就跟男人……？
What are you saying? 你在说啥？
Time, she's up. 时间 到了
We'll delve into that next week. 下周我们将深入研究这个问题。
He called you gay? 他把你当同性恋了？
Well, he implied it. 额，他暗示了一下
Well, you know, you are a writer, and writers are artists. 好吧，你知道，你是个作家，作家也算个艺术家
And, you know, most artists are... 并且你也知道，大部分的艺术家都是……
a little kind of... A little foofy. A little, you know... 都多少带点 傻乎乎的 多少有点……
Foofy and Woofy? 傻且妖娆？
Let me ask you a question.When you smoke a cigar... 我这么问你吧 当你抽烟的时候
do you ever pretend it has balls? You know, like go: 你会假装你手里的香烟是个带把儿的么？你知道，就好比：
Well, I mean, I have. 哦，我说，我有蛋蛋
Haven't you? 香烟，你有么？
I'll tell you what, I'm gonna set you up with my new assistant at work. 我跟你讲，我要雇一个新的助手了
You're gonna love her. 你会爱她的
I don't know. Let's face it, Dom, I'm in a slump. 不好说，走着瞧吧 多姆，我有点不爽啊
I mean, lately I've been feeling like... 我是说，最近一段，我总感觉
Like... 有点……
Like a looser. 有点失败
A loser? What the hell are you talking about? 失败？ 你在这讲什么鬼话？
Jesus, do you remember five years ago when your kidneys failed? 老天……你记得五年前你那个肾坏掉的时候么？
Now, if you were a loser... 现在，如果你是个失败者
would they have found a donor with a tissue match so quickly? 你的肾会这么快找到匹配的捐赠者吗？
I don't think so. What are the odds of that, one in a million? Jesus. 我不这么觉得 这得是多小的几率？ 差不多百万分之一了吧老天
Great. So I'm lucky because my brother died in an explosion? 太棒了 因为我哥哥被炸死了所以我就幸运了？
I didn't say that. I said you're lucky those kids found his kidneys. 我不是这个意思 我是说你足够幸运了，能找到适合自己的肾源
Look, your brother Jimmy never gave a shit about you anyway. 而且反正你哥哥吉米从来都不在乎你
Look, come on, man, you're a real glass-is-half-empty kind of guy. 看看你自己兄弟，你简直就是典型的半杯子水要死的那种悲观主义者
You, sir, have got a fucking guardian angel. You come here. 先生，你有一个他妈的守护天使 那就是我
So I chili-dipped, three putt at the 18th. I lost it six ways. 所以我在第打第18杆时推了三次 然后从六个方向把它丢了
- He's a lucky bastard. 他是个幸运的王八蛋 - Yeah, well. 说的也没错
Hey, guys, I thought you might like some of these with your beers. 嘿，兄弟们，我觉得你们可能会喜欢在喝啤酒的时候配上一点这个
- Yes, indeed. Ted, help yourself. 是的，没错 泰德，你随意挑 - I don't think I'm gonna have one. 我不太想玩这玩意
- Thanks, though. 但还是谢谢了 - You don't want one? 你不想来一个么？
What do you want?You want something else? 你想吃啥？来点别的款式？
- Come on. You want something to eat? 你要不吃点别的？ - Not hungry. 不太饿
You sure? You want a cookie? Something like that? Honey, we got cookies? 实话？你不来块饼干？或者什么别的吃的？ 亲爱的，我们有饼干
No, we don't, but, you know, I could bake some. 没了，我们都吃完了，但是你知道，我也能烤点饼干啥的
- No, no, no. Don't bake any. 不 不 不 啥都别烤 - No, that's a good idea. 别呀 烤吧，好主意啊
- Bake some. Bake some Toll Houses. -烤一些 烤一些 Toll Houses - Oh, great. Yeah, yeah. 超级棒 耶
- Chocolate chip or butterscotch? 巧克力片或奶油糖果？ - Let's go with the chocolate chip. 巧克力片吧
- Really, you don't... It's... 说真的，你不用……它是…… - No, it's fine. Don't worry about it. 没事的，别担心
- Really. She loves this kind of thing. 真的么？她挺喜欢这些东西的 - Really? 当真？
- Yeah. 当真 - See, that's great. 你看，这简直太完美了
That's what I want. 这就是我想要的
A family and somebody to, you know... 一个家庭 和一个人能……你懂的
It must be wonderful having all this. 要能有这些那感觉就太好了
Each day is better than the next. 每一天都会过得比前一天更好
How about you? The big L? 你过得咋样啊？大老棍
- Ever been? 有没有？ - What? 啥？
In love. 谈个恋爱
Well, once. 额，以前谈过
Mary. 玛丽
Oh, God. Not Mary again. 哦老天鹅，别又是玛丽了好么
Look, I know it was brief, but it was definitely love, Dom. 嘿，我知道我俩在一起的时间很短，但我一万个肯定那就是真挚的爱 多姆
I mean, crushes don't last for 13 years, right? 我的意思是，一时冲动的话不会持续13年，对吧？
Whatever happened to Mary? 那你后来跟玛丽怎么了？
Told you, she moved with her family to Miami. 跟你说了，她和家人搬到了迈阿密。
So why don't you look her up? 那你为什么不去找她？
I did once. I called. She wasn't listed. 我找了一次 打了个电话 她没接
So that's it? You get one bump in the road and give up? 就这？你在路上心脏病发作了，然后你就放弃了？
Well, it's probably for the best. After 13 years... 这都13年了，或许这样也好……
she's probably gonna think I'm a stalker. 她搞不好以为我是个跟踪狂
You know what you should do? Hire a private investigator. 你知道你该怎么办么？雇一个私家侦探
To find her, follow her around. She won't know anything. 找到她，跟在她身边 她不会发现的
No way. That's way too creepy. 扯淡 这太吓人了
Besides, she's probably married with a couple of kids by now. Girls like Mary... 而且她现在搞不好都结婚了，都有了两个孩子 像玛丽那样的仙女……
they don't stay single. 不会一直单身的
Hey, I've got an idea. There's this guy down in my office. His name's Healy. 嘿，我有个办法，我在单位认识个这么个人，他叫哈利
He's a claims investigator. He's a hell of a bloodhound. 他对外宣称是个侦探 就跟个猎犬一样
He shoots down to Miami every couple of weeks. He can help you out. 他每两个礼拜飞一次迈阿密 他能帮你
This guy runs a little hot, but he gets the job done. 这家伙脾气大点，但绝对不辱使命
So... 所以……
Dom tells me you're looking for some lady friend you knew back at school. 多姆告诉我你在找你的校园女神
Yeah. Yeah. 没错 没错
That's cute. I don't buy it, but it's cute. 真可爱 我不吃这套 但确实可爱
You're not buying what? 不吃哪一套？
Ted, I'm the kind of guy who likes to shoot from the hip. 泰德 我是那种喜欢直来直去的人
I want you to level with me. 我要你跟我说实话
Come on, let's talk. Did you knock this skirt up? 来吧，我们谈谈 你把这个女人的肚子搞大了么？
No. 没有
- She's blackmailing you, right? 她在勒索你 对吧 - Blackmailing me? No. 勒索我？ 没有
- You want her dead, don't you? 你想掐死她是吧？ - Dead? 掐死她？
Are you...? You're not serious, are you? 你这……你这是当真说的么？真的么？
You expect me to believe this is a straight stalker case? Come on. 你希望我相信这就是一个简简单单的跟踪者的案子？别扯了
Hey, hey, hey. I'm not a stalker. I'm not a stalker, all right? 嘿 嘿 嘿 我不是个跟踪狂好么？
- She's a friend of mine. 她是我的好朋友 - Oh, sure she is. 哦，好吧，你说是就是
That explains why she's got an unlisted number... 这解释了为什么你说不出来她的电话……
and you haven't heard squat from her in 13 years. 而你在过去十三年里，一点她的消息都没听到过
Yeah, real chum. 是啊，真是“好朋友”
- What...? 怎么了？ - You're good, Ted. Real piece of work. 你很好，泰德 给了我这么有挑战性的工作
What are you...? You know what? Forget it. Just forget the whole thing. 你在说什么鬼……你知道么？ 忘掉这一切吧，拉到了
Okay, I'll do it. 好，我会忘掉的
But if this chick turns up with a toe tag, I'm rolling over on you, big guy. 但如果这个小妞露了马脚 我马上就联系你 大侠
All right. 好吧
Healy, you dog. 哈利，你个傻逼
Sully. Look at you. 苏利，看看你
You hot shit. You look fucking pisser. 你这混蛋 看起来他妈的要尿裤子了
Hey. Hey, good fella. 嘿嘿 好兄弟啊
- Does he bite? 他咬人么 - A little bit. 多少有点
Get in. 进来
- Here's the info you asked for. 这是你需要的资料 - Thanks. 谢谢
You know, you should thank me. That girl was not easy to find. 你知道，你确实应该谢谢我 那个女孩没那么容易找到
What, did she scam you out of some insurance dough? 怎么，她把你摆了一道？
No. Some guy gave me a couple bucks to track down his high school girlfriend. 不 有个人给我钱去找他高中时的女朋友
Stalker, huh? 跟踪狂蛤？
Yep. Big time. 是啊，跟踪了很久了
You would not believe all the pussy down here. 你不会相信这的那些小妞的
It's like shooting fish in a barrel. 要泡她们简直易如反掌
- Yeah? You getting any? 是么？你有收获了？ - Nothing. 没有
There you go. 到了
- Hey, shoes off. 嘿 把鞋脱了 - What the...? 这地方……
Are you kidding me? 你在逗我吧
You-— You are so full of... Look at this place. 你-— 你真是…看看这个地方。
- Yeah, I'm doing okay. 是吧，我混的不赖 - Doing okay? 不赖？
I gotta get ready for work. 我得准备工作了
This pad, those killer wheels. 这个瑜伽垫，那些健身环
Man, it looks like you really cleaned up your act. 兄弟，你是真计划练出来六块腹肌啊
Yeah, what can I tell you? It's a healthier lifestyle down here. 是的，我能说什么呢？这里的生活方式更健康
It's easier to succeed, you know, when your head is clear. 当你头脑清醒的时候，想成功就很容易了
- Yeah. 是啊 - Those guys back in Boston? 那些人回波士顿了？
Oh, fucking animals. 哦，一群畜生
Hey, what do you say we go out and grab a couple of pops before you go to work? 嘿，要不咱们工作之前先出去喝两杯吧？
None for me, buddy. I don't drink anymore. 我可不喝了兄弟 滴酒不沾
Yeah, you don't drink any less, right? 你是少喝一滴都不行吧 是吧？
What the...? 卧槽……
That's Bill. Don't worry, I fed him last week. 这是比尔 别担心，我上个礼拜才喂的他
- Does he bite? 他咬人么 - Nips. 多少咬点
Nineteen months I've been straight. 我戒了十九个月酒了
Is that right? Good for you, Sully. 真的假的？ 你真不错苏利
Yeah, it was hard at first, but I'm there. I'm there. 是啊，刚开始总是很艰难的 但是做到了，成功了
Hey, I'm proud of you. How about a frosty to celebrate? 嘿，我为你骄傲 要不来一瓶庆祝一下吧？
Didn't you hear what I just said? 你没听见我刚才说的啥么
Sully, you were never an alky. You were a coke head. 苏利，你从来不是酒鬼 你是个瘾君子。
Yeah, but when you quit the nose candy, you gotta quit the booze too. 是的，但是当你戒掉鼻烟的时候，你也戒掉酒了
Who told you that? Sully, it's one...It's a Lite beer. 谁跟你说的？苏利 这是一……这是一小杯啤酒而已
Oh, the big, bad beer's gonna get you. 哦，这又大又坏的啤酒先生要把你压在身下了是么
- It's you I'm worried about. 我担心的是你 - You're worried about me? 你担心我？
Yeah. You gotta bend a little bit, or believe me, you're gonna break. 是啊 你得多少喝点 否则，过刚易折
- You think? 你这么觉得么？ - Oh, yeah. 是啊
You gotta learn to have a pop once in a while or you're gonna fall off the waggon. 你要是一直滴酒不沾，最后迟早得淹死在酒精里
You're being a fanatic. 你就当个爱好者
Well, jeez... 快拉倒吧
- I don't wanna fall off the waggon. 我可不想死在酒上 - No. 没人想
- I mean, not after 19 months. 我的意思是，好歹都戒了19个月了 - Exactly. 没毛病
Jesus, you know what? This shit doesn't even taste good to me anymore. 老天，你知道么，这破玩意简直难喝的要命
Fuck you then, you big pussy. I'll drink it. 去你妈的吧 你个娘炮 我自己喝
Looks like we found your Mary, Ted. 看样子我们找到你的玛丽了 泰德
Husband: Negative. 老公：没看见
Children and a Labrador: Negative. 孩子和保姆：没看见
Tight little package: Affirmative. 大胸器：确定了
Good morning, Magda. 早上好啊 玛格达
- Hi, doll. You're in my light. 好啊宝贝，你挡着我的太阳了 - Sorry. 不好意思
- So you've been out here all night again? 说起来，你是不是又在外面疯了一晚上？ - Bet your ass I have. 那必须的
This is an important job, neighbourhood watch is. 这个工作很重要的，看着你的邻居们
Neighbourhood watch. Is that what we're calling it? “看着你的邻居们” 我们现在都混成这样了么
Listening to perfect strangers' telephone conversations. 偷听一个八竿子打不着的陌生人打电话
This only picks up cellular phones in a half-a-mile radius. 这个只能窃听半公里以内的智能手机
Meaning? 所以嘞？
These are the people you live amongst. You got a right to know if they're creeps. 这些人跟你一起生活，你有权知道他们是不是神经病或者变态
For instance, do you know the guy in the green house down the street? 打个比方 你知道住在这条街最后那个绿房子里的男的么？
Yeah. 啊哈
Cheating on his wife. 他背着老婆找小三
And I am not surprised. I am not surprised at all... 我一点都不惊讶呢，一点都不哦
because Puffy used to bark his balls off whenever he saw him. 因为 我的狗子有一段总是对着他的蛋蛋狂叫 不管在哪都是
And you know that Puffy, he only barks at the bad people. 你知道狗子，它只对着坏人叫唤
Okay. 行吧
Well, I'm gonna go hit some golf balls and hook up with Warren... 好，我得去打几杆高尔夫另外约一下华伦
so try to get some sleep. 该睡就睡吧
- Okay. Bye, doll. 好吧 再见，小可爱 - May I make a suggestion? 我能给你提个意见么？
Try not drinking so early in the morning because you smell like a gin mill. 不要一大清早喝的马二马三的，酒味比撒地下的酒精都大
I smell like a gin mill? 有那么夸张么？
Does Mommy? Does Mommy smell like a gin mill? 妈咪是这样么？ 妈咪闻起来像不像酒精？
Hello. 你好
Hey, Herb. How's it going? Apple for you today. 嘿，赫伯 你好啊 给你今日份的苹果
Thanks, Mary. 谢谢你 玛丽
- Have a good day. See you later. 祝你今天好好的，再见 - Looking good, honey. 你也是啊 亲爱的
- Hi, Mary. 嗨，玛丽 - Hey, Mrs. Bailey. How you doing? 嘿，贝利夫人 你好啊
Looks like we got a jock on our hands. 看样子 我们拿捏了一个好货色啊
- Here, you want the sports page? 给，你想看看体育版么？ - Thank you. 哦 谢谢
- Take care now. 那再见啦 - Bye, guys. See you. 再见兄弟们 再见
Yeah. Remember, I have two, Mary. 是 记得 我有两个 玛丽
Yeah. You can have two halves, just like everybody else. 是啊，你可以像别人一样，分成两半
Yeah, that's good. 没错，两半好啊
- Will you marry me, Mary? 你会嫁给我么玛丽 - I would love to, Jimmy. 当然会了 吉米
But I'm already engaged to Freddie. 但我已经和弗雷迪订婚了
- Who's Freddie? Me? 弗雷迪是哪位？我么？ - Yes, you. 是啊，就是你
Will you marry me? 你可以嫁给我么？
What about Dolores? You gonna marry us both? 多洛雷斯怎么看？你会和我们结婚么？
I'm gonna kiss you. 我要亲你一口
I think you're making out pretty well there. Okay. 你倒是挺会撩的，真的
- Thanks, Mary. 谢谢你 玛丽 - You're welcome, Zack. 不客气 扎克
- No onions. 没洋葱吧 - No onions. 没洋葱
No onions. How are you doing? 不放洋葱了 你好啊
Listen to this one. 听我说
Seeking sensitive Wasp doctor to share candlelit dinners... 找一个敏感的白人医生吃烛光晚餐……
long walks in Coconut Grove, marriage. 在椰子树下散步、结婚
Is she looking for a corpse? You have to be specific when you write. 她看起来像大体老师么？你在写广告的时候一定要非常详细才行
You have to say Seeking deaf-mute with, you know... 你得说寻找聋哑人…
3-pound cock and trust fund. 他有两斤多的大丁丁和一大笔信托基金
I want a guy who can play 36 holes and still have enough energy... 我想要个能打完36杆还依旧精力充沛的男人
to take me and Warren to a ball game and eat hot dogs. 带着我和华伦去打球，然后一起吃路边摊
I'm talking sausage hot dogs, beer. Not Lite beer, but beer. 就是那些小饮料，热狗，啤酒啥的 不是小孩啤酒，正经啤酒
That's my ad. Print it up. 这就是我的自我宣传了，打印出来
A fatty who likes beer and golf. 一个喜欢高尔夫和啤酒的死胖子
Jeez, Mary, where are you gonna find a gem like that? 老天鹅，玛丽 你计划上哪找这么个活宝？
Okay, well, here's the catch. 呐，这才是重点
He has to be self-employed. 他得是个自由职业者
Like a drug dealer? 比如街边的毒贩子？
No, I was thinking along the lines, maybe,of somebody like an architect or something. 不，我想着，能是设计师之类的人
But I want somebody with freedom in their job, you know? 我就是想要一个不用一天到晚活在工作里的人 你知道么？
Somebody who can do it anywhere and just leave at a drop of a hat. 他能够在任何地方工作，并且不干的时候也能毫不犹豫
And where would you and your beer-bellied architect be going to? 那你说的这腆着啤酒肚的设计师在哪里领？
- The Super Bowl? 超级碗？ - Yeah. 对
That's good. 不赖
I don't know. Maybe a few months in Nepal. 我也不知道，或许过几个月纳帕会发吧
Nepal. 纳帕
And you'd probably dump the poor guy halfway to Katmandu. 你可能在去加德满都的半路上就甩了这个男的了
What's that supposed to mean? 你啥意思？
- It means you change your mind too much. 我的意思是你的感情变得太快了 - No, I don't. 我哪里变得快了
Come off it, Mary. 别遮掩了玛丽
Remember that gorgeous, corn-fed white boy, honey... 还记得那个漂亮的红脖子男孩吗，亲爱的……
that you just dumped like yesterday's garbage? 你就像扔垃圾一样把他扔了
What was his name? Pack man. 他叫啥来这？ 派克
Okay, we had fun for a while. 那怎么了，我们有过快乐的日子
Mary, cut the crap. What really happened with Brett? 玛丽，别再瞎说了 你和布雷特到底怎么了
Yeah, Brett seemed so sweet. 是啊，布雷特人挺不错的呀
You know what Tucker said Brett told him? 你知道塔克告诉我 布雷特跟他说了什么？
He said that if Warren wasn't in my life... 他说，如果我没有华伦这个傻弟弟……
that he would have popped the question a long time ago. 他早就要开诚布公跟我谈谈了
- Oh, man. 哦，男人 - What a shock. 令人发指
To hell with Brett, you know? 去他么的布雷特吧 我跟你说
I've got a vibrator. 我有一个按摩棒
- Hello? 喂？ - Hello? 喂？
- Sully? 苏利 - Hello? 蛤？
- Sully, is that you? 苏利是你么？ - May I ask who's calling, please? 我能问问是谁么？谢谢了
Sully, it's me, Healy. 苏利，是我啊 哈利 What's going on over there? 那边怎么了？
Fucking Patrick Healy. You think your shit don't stink. 草泥马的帕特里克·哈利 你觉得你嘴里喷的粪还不够臭是吧？
Well, I got news for you. 额……我有消息说给你
You're god-damn right it don't. 你赶紧给我爬回来
Hey, I wanna thank you for the other day. 嘿，我想为那天的事谢谢你
You really helped me. You were right. 你真的帮了我很大的忙，你是对的
Hold, please. 稍等一下
I haven't even wanted a beer. 我压根都不想喝酒了
- How are you, buddy? 你过得怎么样兄弟？ - I'm fine. 还凑活
I just wanted to let you know I'll have your car back to you in a couple hours. 我就是想告诉你，我把你的车开回来了，一会就到
- I'm still staking out this broads apartment. -我还在监视这个女人的公寓。 - Hey. 嘿
Well, you were right. I was uptight. I was... 你是对的，我有点过刚易折了……有点
tight. 太刚了
You know who I miss? Those guys in Boston. 你知道我碰见谁了？去波士顿的那群人
Hold on a sec. 等等
Those are the plays of the month. Thank you for joining us. 以上就是我们的月度节目，感谢您的参与
Look forward to seeing you next Sunday on The Sports Machine. Have a good week. 希望在下周日的“运动机器”上看到你 周末愉快
Oh, yeah. 哇哇哇……偶
Here comes the money shot. 现在算看见回头钱了
First chink in the armour, Ted. 看人先看胸啊 泰德
Shit. 卧槽
Oh, yeah. 完美
pop, you wanna get me a whiskey sour when you get a sec? 老板，我要一杯初恋威士忌，你赶紧的
Whiskey sour coming up. 初恋威士忌 马上就好
- I got some excellent news for you. 我有点好消息告诉你 - Oh, yeah? Excellent? 是吗？好消息？
- I think your life's about to change. 我觉得你的人生可能就此改变了 - Really? So you found her? 真的？这么讲你找到她了？
Oh, yeah. And you were right, man. She really is something else. My God. 找到了，而且你是对的兄弟 她是真的有料 老天
Really? So she hasn't changed at all, huh? 是么，看来她一点没变啊 蛤？
Well, that I couldn't say. Let me ask you something. 那我不敢说 我问你
Was Mary a little big-boned back in high school? 玛丽高中那会是不是有点胖？
Big-boned? No, no, not at all. No. 胖？没没没 一点都不胖
I guess she packed on a few pounds over the years. 我觉得她可能在过去几年里胖了一点
Oh, yeah? So she's a little...? She's a little chubby? 哦 是么？你意思是她有点……有点肉感？
I'd say about a deuce, deuce and a half. Not bad. 我觉得应该是半肥半瘦吧，挺完美的
My. A deuce and a half, huh? 我天 半肥半瘦蛤？
Well, you know, you shit out a bunch of kids... 额，你知道的，如果你生了几个孩子以后
and you're bound to put on a few pounds. 自然而然就会长胖个几斤
So she's...? She's married? 你是说，她……结婚了？
No, no, she's never been. That's the good news. 不不不 她从没结婚 这是个好消息
Yeah. 好消息
Four kids, three different guys, but no rock. 四个孩子，三个不同的男人，但是没结婚
Hyperactive little fuckers too. 都是精力旺盛的小王八蛋
Tough to keep up with in a wheelchair, I bet. 我敢打赌，她坐着轮椅，肯定很难跟的上
She's in a wheelchair? Mary's in a wheelchair? 她坐轮椅了？ 玛丽坐轮椅了？
I thought that was part of your kick. 我以为那是你踢的呢
- Excuse me, I ordered a whiskey sour. 不好意思，我点的是初恋威士忌 - Yeah, whatever. 是是是，爱咋咋地
Are you sure it's the same Mary? You got the right person? 你确定咱俩说的是一个玛丽么？ 你找对人了没有？
Oh, yeah. It's Mary, all right. The brother, Warren? 当然了，就是那个玛丽 她的弟弟 华伦？
Hey, don't look so shocked, Ted. 嘿，别这么就震惊了 泰德
It's been a long time. I bet you've changed a lot over the last 13 years, haven't you? 都过去这么长时间了，我敢说你肯定也和十三年前不一样了不是吗？
- What, do you think your shit don't stink? 怎么你拉的屎就比别人金贵么？ - No, I don't think... I mean, yes, it doe... 没有，我拉的……我是说不，这……
- I don't... 我不知道 - Okay, I got all the information you need. 好了，我有了你想要的信息
I got it off her bookie. Nice guy. 我从她经纪人那知道的 那人不赖
You really should look her up, Ted. I mean, she's a real spark plug, this one. 你真应该好好看看她，泰德 我的意思是，她就是一个闪闪发光的星星
Well, thank you. Thanks, Healy. Good work. 额，谢谢 谢谢你，哈利 干得不错
Ted, don't you want the name of the housing project? 泰德，你不想知道她在那个地方住么？
What? 咋了？
For 1995. 1995年
See the Sarone boys on Route 1 in South Brattleboro... 在南布拉特博罗的1号公路上……
and right here on Jefferson Boulevard in Warwick, you'll be... 就在沃里克的杰斐逊大道上……
♪Well, it hurts from the bottom.♪ 它朝你最脆弱的地方狠狠一击
♪And it hurts down to your soul.♪ 撕碎了你脆弱的灵魂
♪That's because true love is not nice.♪ 那是因为爱情本来就是恶魔的果实
♪And it brings up hurt.♪ 只会带来灾难
♪From when you were 5 years old.♪ 从你年纪尚幼，两小无猜开始
♪That's because true love is not nice.♪ 因为爱情的本质就是痛苦
♪No.♪ 不
♪Oh, pain, pain, pain.♪ 噢，痛苦，迷茫，撕心裂肺
♪Ain't that just love's name?♪ 难道这些都是爱情的代名词？
♪Love can bring up hurt From way down low.♪ 爱情会将你心底的痛苦撕开
♪It now be emphasised.♪ 现在你又一次感到爱情的威力
♪True love is just not civilised.♪ 真正的爱就这么不讲情面
♪True love is not nice.♪ 就是这么撕心裂肺
♪No, no.♪ 不，不
Where are you going? 你要去哪？
- Oh, I resigned. 噢，我不干了 - Good luck in Miami, Pat. 祝你在迈阿密好运啊 Pat.
Miami? What are you doing in Miami? 迈阿密？你去迈阿密干什么？
I took a job offer. 在那我找了新工作
With who? 和谁一起？
With Rice-a-Roni. 和Rice-a-Roni
Isn't that the San Francisco treat? 这不是旧金山的一家饭店吗？
It was. 是的
- They're changing their image. 他们扩展业务了 - Yeah, well, listen. 好吧，听着
- I've been thinking about what you said. 我仔细想了想你说的话 - Good, good. 好啊
And I still wanna look her up. 我还是想见见她
Who? Roller pig? Are you nuts? 谁？滚地猪？你疯了吧？
I thought you said she was a real spark plug. 我记得你说她是闪耀的星星
No, no, I said butt plug. She's heinous. 不不不，我说的是炸毛的猩猩 她非常不咋地
You know what? All the same, I think I wanna call her. 这样的话，按你这个说法，我觉得我应该打电话给她了
I mean, I know it sounds crazy... 我知道这听起来有点神经
but, I don't know, maybe I can help her out. 但是，我不好说，或许我能帮她过得好一些
I feel bad, you know. The poor thing, she's in a wheelchair for God's sakes. 我有点难过你知道么 可怜的玛丽 她都坐上轮椅了老天爷
- It's a bunion. It'll heal. 她其实就是脚崴了，两天就好了 - Bunion? You... I thought... 脚崴了？你……我以为
You know what? That's not even it. The point is, I just... 你知道吗？这都不重要 关键是，我计划……
I know this doesn't make sense to you, but I can't just turn it off that fast. 我知道你肯定理解不了我，但我不可能这么快就翻篇了
I guess I still have feelings for her. 我觉得我还是很喜欢她
This girl really means something to you, huh? 这个女孩对你真的不一样蛤？
All right. 行吧
Tell you what. 我跟你说
I'll get you her number as soon as she gets back from Japan. 等她一从日本回来，我就把她的电话给你
Thank you, I appreciate... 谢谢你，真是太……
Japan? What's happening in Japan? Why is she going to Japan? 日本？日本干什么玩意？她为什么去日本了？
You've heard of mail-order brides, haven't you? 你听说过“援交”吧？
- Well, they go that way too. 额，他们就那么满世界乱飞 - Mary's a...? 玛丽是个……？
What are they, desperate? She's a whale. 他们是怎么？生计所迫？她家里有钱啊
Don't forget, it's a sumo culture. They pay by the pound there. 别忘了，这是日本文化 他们那边都付的是英镑
Sort of like tuna. 就像“找乐子”一样
What happened to...? You said she was single. 到底是什么……你说过她是单身的
- Remember, no rock? 记得么，她没戴婚戒？ - You had your window, Ted. You blew it. 你有过机会泰德，但你错过了
I had my window? 我有过机会？
I'm sorry, buddy. It's just, you know, you're taking this all wrong. 对不起兄弟，这些事，你知道的，你说的都不在点上
Okay? I mean, come on, you're liberated. I feel liberated. 好么？我是说，想想吧，你自由了 我感到自由了
I mean, you're in therapy thinking you blew it with the greatest girl ever... 我的意思是，你正在想办法扭曲自己的想法，认为你和世界上最棒的女孩搞砸了……
and it turns out that getting your dick stuck in your zipper... 结果你的阴茎卡在拉链里……
was the best thing that ever happened to you. 反而是你一辈子最好的事了
- Say it a little louder? 你大点声重复一遍？ - I'm sorry, but it was. 我也不想这么说 但这是事实
I never told you that. 我从来没跟你说过这些
Christ, Ted, I was only four towns away. 老天爷啊泰德 我离你们就隔了四条街
- Excuse me. 打扰一下 - Oh, sure, sweetheart. 噢，这是真的亲爱的
Oh, man, I gotta go. 哎兄弟，我得走了
I gotta get up at 6 a.m. and help my boss's brother move into his apartment. 我大早上六点就爬起来，帮我老板的兄弟搬家
- Your boss's brother? Who's that? 你老板的兄弟？谁啊 - I don't even know. I never met him. 我不知道，我从来没见过他
Ted, you gotta finish that novel so you can quit that stupid magazine. 泰德，你得结束这荒唐的故事了，这样你才能把你的生活解放出来
Yeah. 是啊
Nice swing. 打的漂亮
Christ, hit a house. 我去，撞到盒子了
I haven't swung the wrenches in a while. 我有一段时间没打过高尔夫了
Would you mind giving me some pointers here? 你介意给我提点建议么？
Yeah, sure. Don't talk in someone's back swing. 当然 不要在打球的时候跟别人说话
Oh, thanks. 噢，谢谢
- I'm gonna go get a soda. You want one? 我去拿瓶饮料，你喝么 - No, thanks. 不了，太凉
Look, I'm sorry to bother you again, but you got change of a dollar? 你看，真不好意思老打扰你，你有零钱吗？
No. 没有
All I got are these damn Nepalese coins. 我只有这些倒霉催的尼泊尔钢镚
You've been to Nepal? 你去过尼泊尔？
Not in months. 几个月以前了
I don't even know why I bought the damn place. 我都不知道为什么我要买下来这个破地方
- Nice meeting you again. 很高兴再见到你 - You too, again. 我也是
So, what's your name? 所以，你叫什么?
Pat Healy. 帕特·哈利
Wanna know mine? 想知道我的么？
I already know it, Mary. 我早就知道了，玛丽
How did you know that? 你怎么知道的？
Because it's right there on your golf bag. 因为你的高尔夫袋子上写着呢
Damn. 我去
Wow, are those blueprints? 哇，这些是设计图吗？
Oh, these? They're just some projects I'm working on. 噢这些？这就是我马上要进行的一些项目
Museum, hospital for kids. 博物馆 儿童医院
Really? Are you an architect? 真的吗？你是个设计师
Just till I get my PGA tour card. 等我拿下PGA考试就是了
No, I mean, are they putting up some sort of a new museum in town, or...? 不不，我意思是，他们要在镇上新建一家博物馆么？还是……？
Well, to tell you the truth, I'm sort of burnt-out on talking about it. 额，我这么跟你说吧，我已经有点泄露政府机密了
Oh, I'm sorry. 奥，不好意思
It's just a job, really. Something to keep me moving. 这就是一份工作而言，能让我一直忙起来
- My real passion is my hobby. 我更愿意在我的业余爱好上花点时间 - Really? What's that? 是么？做什么的？
I work with retards. 我和智障一起工作
Isn't that a little politically incorrect? 你这个称呼是不是有点政治不正确？
Well, the hell with that. 或许吧，去他妈的
No one's gonna tell me who I can and can't work with, right? 没人能管得了我爱跟谁不跟谁工作，你说对么？
- No, I mean... 不是，我是说…… - We got this one kid, Mongo. 我那有一个孩子 叫摩根
He's got a forehead like a drive-in movie theatre. He's a good shit... 他的脑子就像个露天影院一样，但他是个好人
so we don't bust his chops too much. 所以我们不会克扣他的待遇
- So one day, Mongo gets out of his cage... 所有说，如果有一天，摩根离开了他的笼子…… - What, they keep him in a cage? 啥？他们把摩根关在笼子里？
- Well, it's just an enclosure. 额，这就是个小笼子啊 - No, but they keep him confined? 不，但是他们在控制他？
- Right, yeah. 是的 - That's bullshit. 这简直扯淡
Well, that's what I said. 呐，这就是我说的
- So I went out and I got him a leash. -所以我出去给他买了条项圈。 - A leash? 项圈
Yeah, one you can hook on to the clothesline and he can run back and forth... 是啊，你可以把他拴在晾衣架上，他会来来去去地跑
and there's plenty of room for him to dig and play. 而且这有大片空给他刨坑撒欢
That kid has really... He's really blossomed, you know? 那孩子真的…他真的很漂亮，你知道吗？
Now I can take him to movies... 现在我都想领着他拍戏了
baseball games. 棒球游戏
You know, fun stuff. 你知道的，就为了好玩
- Yeah. 是啊 - Sounds cool. 听着不错
Oh, yeah, it's cool for them, but for me, it's much more than that. 是啊，对他们来说这是好玩，但对我来说还有别的意义
For me, it's heaven, you know? 对我来说，就是心愿达成，你知道么
Those goofy bastards are just about the best thing I've got going in this... 那些傻乎乎的智障们，是我在这个疯狂的世界能找到最好的
crazy world. 东西了
Hey, dip-shit, be careful with that thing, will you? 嘿，老八，小心点干成么？
- What? 你说啥？ - You heard me. 你听到了
You already put a fucking nick in my piano. 你已经把一只运动鞋放进我的钢琴里了
Well, I'll try to be a little more careful. 额，我已经尽量小心了
What, are you fading? You wimping out on me? 怎么，你的智障晚期了么？简直废物一个
It's just that this is a little bit heavy, that's all. 实在是因为这个太重了
Heavy? What I wouldn't give to know what heavy feels like... 重？我可不知道这个重不重 但我觉得……
you insensitive prick. 你那智障脑袋最重了
- No, I didn't mean that. 不，我不是这个意思 - Yeah, yeah. I'm going down the street... 对对，我要去街拐角哪里
- to get coffee. 去买杯咖啡什么的 - Wait. I'll get you the coffee. 等下，我去给你买
Could you just...? Hey, I'm sorry. （我怎么开的车？） （打1-300-吃屎-热线） 你能不能……嘿，对不起
Hey, you! 嘿，你！
You with the furniture. Hey. 搬家具那个，嘿
- I'm Steve Tyler with The Troubleshooters. -我是史蒂夫·泰勒，专门给人家挑毛病的 - Oh, yeah. Hey. 哦，嘿你好
Do you know your truck is parked in a handicapped zone? 你的车停在残疾人专用车位了你知道么？
- Oh, it's okay. The guy who... 哦，那没事的，那个人他…… - You don't look very handicapped to me. 你看起来可不像是残疾人啊
- Why would you do something like that? 你为什么要这么干？ - I'm not handicapped, but the guy who has... 我确实不是残疾人，但是那个男的他……
Are you getting this? Make sure you get a close-up on his face. 你明白了吗？确保你能拍到他脸的特写镜头。
There's a handicapped guy, he's got an electric wheelchair. 各位，这有一个坐着电动轮椅的残疾人
There's a disabled schmuck who's in a wheelchair. He's coming back. 有个傻瓜瘸子坐在轮椅上 他来了
Tender facial tissue left of L7. 脊椎第七节突出了
Hey, Bob? 嘿 鲍勃
Remember Mary? 记得玛丽么？
Oh, yeah. 记得啊
I remember Mary. 我记得玛丽
Hey, I saw her a couple months ago at a convention in Las Vegas. 嘿，我几个月前还在拉斯维加斯的集会见到她了
How could you see her at a convention? 你怎么会在集会上见到她？
Well, I'm a chiropractor, she's an orthopaedic surgeon. 额，因为我是盲人按摩而她是整形外科医生
She's a what? 她是啥？
She's an orthopaedic surgeon, and... she's still a fox. 她是整形外科医生 而且讲道理，她还是那么妖艳
What if the families don't want a class action? 如果这些家庭不想集体诉讼怎么办？
God, that's what I've been trying to explain to you people for the last hour. 老天，我已经费了几个小时的功夫跟你们解释这个事了
Okay, fine, we'll go over it again. I... 好吧，好吧，我们再来一遍 我……
Mary's a fox. 玛丽是个漂亮狐狸
- What? 啥？ - What? 咋了？
Mary's a fox? What are you...? 玛丽是个漂亮狐狸？你在说……？
Folks, here, let's... We'll break up. We'll spit ball this tomorrow, okay? 伙计们，来，我们…我们今天就先这样 我们明天把这事弄清楚，好吗？
- What the hell are you talking about? 你在说什么疯话？ - Mary? My Mary? 玛丽？我的玛丽？
She's not in Japan. She has no rug rats running around. 她没去日本 她也没有过得一团糟
My friend says she's a fox. A surgeon fox. 我朋友说她还是个大美人，一个风骚医生
I don't get it. I don't know what you're...Healy... 我不明白 我不知道你说的……哈利……
Think about it. He never even looked her up down there. 你仔细想想吧，他从来没有见过她
He was there closing his deal with the Rice-a-Roni people the whole time. 他一直都在和Rice-a-Roni的人打着跳槽的主意
What's up with your head? 你的头怎么了？
Oh, I get hives tap-dancing for these idiots. 哦，我给这些白痴跳了一轮踢踏舞
I get a little stressed out. 我有点出离愤怒了
Jeez, you know, I feel like a royal shit because I set you up with this guy. 天啊，你知道，我感觉自己吃了一斤屎 因为逼你派出去那个家伙
You know what you gotta do. You gotta call her. 你知道你现在该干嘛么？打给她
Fuck calling her. I'm going down there. 打你妹 我要去找她
Yeah. Yeah, okay. ASAP. 好啊 没毛病 撒丫子快去
So who's the lucky guy? 那么，谁那么幸运跟你约会呀？
His name's Pat. Met him at the driving range. 他叫帕特，我在高尔夫球场遇见的他
Is he good-looking? 他帅么？
He's no Steve Young. 他没有史蒂夫·杨那么帅
So, what is he like? 那他长啥样？
I don't know. 我不知道
Kind of a mook. A schlep. 有点像摩尔人 傻了吧唧的
Why the hell are you going out with a schlep? 那你为什么要和一个傻子约会？
It's not like that, Magda. You know, it's like that movie Harold and Maude. 没这么简单玛格达，你知道 这就像《哈洛与慕德》那个电影
I don't watch the new ones. 我没看过这个片子
Well, you should because it's probably the greatest love story of our time. 额，那你应该看看，这或许是我人生中最美好的爱情故事了
The point is, is that love isn't about money... 关键是，这个爱情故事是不是关于钱的……
or social standings or age. 或者社会地位 或者老牛吃嫩草
It's about two people connecting, having something in common. 它是关于两个人心有灵犀，彼此接纳
You know, kindred spirits. 你知道吧，就那种灵魂伴侣
Fuck kindred spirits. My little Puffy here is gonna tell you... 狗屁的灵魂伴侣，我的狗子会告诉你……
everything you need to know about that guy in about two seconds flat. 你想了解一个男人，两秒钟就可以
If Puffy starts yapping, he's a loser. 如果我的狗子冲他叫唤，他就是个人渣
If he likes him, honey, then you've got yourself a keeper. 如果我的狗子喜欢他，亲爱的，那你就好好把握
Yeah. Pufferball likes it when I rub his belly. 是啊，我摸你狗子的肚子的时候它也挺喜欢我的
That is amazing. 不可思议
He doesn't like anybody. He never usually likes guys. 他谁都不喜欢，他从来都不会随便喜欢一个男人
- He doesn't like bad guys. 他也不喜欢坏人 - Is that right? 是么？
He can tell that you're an animal nut. 你发癫的时候，他会直言不讳
- You are, aren't you? 你会吧对不对？ - You got me pegged. 我可喜欢上你了
You know, in Nepal, the villagers there called me kin ton Ti... 你知道么，在纳帕，村民都叫我“精东西”
which means noble man who is loved by many animal... 意思是，一个著名的受小动物爱戴的男人
who, in kind, he loveth too. 一个善良，充满爱心的男人
Would you like a cup of tea or something? 你要喝杯茶什么的么？
I'd love a brewski if you got one. 如果你有的话，我倒是想来一杯啤酒
We can do that. 有的有的
Hey, Magda, why don't you help me in the kitchen? 嘿玛格达，你要来厨房帮帮我么？
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Certainly, of course. 哦，我来我来，当然要来
Puffer doesn't like bad guys, does he? 你的狗子不喜欢坏人是吧？
Puffer? 狗子？
Puffer, come on, boy. 狗子，别就挂了啊
Would you like a little clam dip, doll? 你想要一点蛤蜊酱吗，小可爱？
No, thank you. I'd love a Bundt cake if you have one. 不了谢谢，如果你有邦德蛋糕的话，我想要一个
- Bundt cake? 邦德蛋糕? - Bundt cake? 邦德蛋糕?
One, two, three, four, five. 一、二、三、四、五
One, two, three... 一、二、三……
Hey, Pat, do you want a Budweiser or a Heinie? 嘿，帕特，你要百威啤酒还是海尼啤酒？
Yeah, whatever. 都行
Come on, Puffer. Stay away from the light！ 求你了狗子，别走进那扇天国之门！
Okay, I'll just get you a regular. 好吧，我给你拿一个普通的
All set? 都弄好了？
Good pooch. 好狗子
All we had were some Oreos. How does that sound, honey? 我们只有一些奥利奥 能凑活吧，亲爱的？
Oh, my God. 我的老天
He's got him wrapped up like a baby. 他把他包起来了，像裹婴儿一样
He was... He was a little chilly. 他 有点……有点冷
Well, here we are. 好，我们到了
- The museum? 博物馆？ - Yeah. 是的
- I thought we were going to dinner. 我以为我们要去吃个晚饭 - We will, but I have a surprise. 我们是要去吃完饭，但是我有个惊喜给你
- A surprise? 惊喜？ - Yeah, it's the architecture exhibit. 是啊，建筑师展览
- Architecture exhibit? 建筑师展览？ - Yeah. 是的
- I gotta eat something or I get the shakes. 我得吃点东西，否则我会发抖 - We'll eat in 20 minutes. 20分钟以内我们就会去吃饭啦
My friend Tucker is upstairs. I want you to meet him. 我的朋友塔克在楼上，你俩应该认识一下
- He's an architect too. Come on. Yeah. 他也是个设计师 来啊 - Architect? 设计师？
Tucker. 塔克
This is amazing. This just blows me away. 这太神奇了，简直令人震惊
What do you think this falls under? Is this art Deco, or is it art nouveau? 你觉得 这个下沉怎么样？这是装饰艺术还是新艺术？
- Deco. Deco, yeah. 装饰 装饰艺术 - Yeah. 是的
It's beautiful. 太好看了
Is this...? Okay, is this a vestibule, or is it a portico? 这是……？好吧，这是门厅还是门廊？
What is the difference? 有什么区别
When you're looking at architecture, try to visualise the buildings as a whole. 当你看着一座建筑的时候，试着在脑海里想象它的全貌
You know, try to see them in their natural state. 你懂吧 在一个整体的高度去欣赏它们
In their totalitarianism, so to speak. 可以说，他们的极权主义
- Stone-crab time. Let's go to Joe's, huh? -该去吃石蟹了 我们去乔那里吧？ - Hey, Tucker. 嘿 塔克
Mary. 玛丽
How are you? 你怎么样？
Good. I'm glad we saw you. 挺好的，好高兴看见你啊
Come on, like you mean it. 拉倒吧，说的跟真的似的
Tucker. This is my friend Pat Healy. 塔克，这是我的朋友帕特·哈利
- Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, Patrick. 奥，很荣幸认识你 帕特里克 - Same here. 幸会
- Pat is an architect as well. 帕特也是个设计师，跟你一样 - Oh, really? 哦？是吗？
- Where are your offices? 你的工作室在哪？ - Mainly, I work out of Boston. 我主要在波士顿工作
Boston, huh? 波士顿蛤
- Did you get your degree up there? 你拿到文凭了么 - You bet. 当然了
Really? Where did you study? 是么？你哪个大学毕业的？
Harvard. 哈佛
Then you must have studied under Kim Green. 那你肯定在金·格林的门下学习过了
Well, among others. 额，还有别的老师带过我
You know, Pat does projects all over the world. 你知道么，帕特在全世界各地都有项目
Really? Where would I have seen your work? 是吗？哪里能看见您的大作呢？
Well, have you been to...? 额……你有没有去过……
Well, let me see. 额，我想想
Santiago, Chile? 智利的圣地亚哥？
Twice last year. Which building is yours? 两年前去过 哪一座楼是你设计的？
- Are you familiar with the soccer stadium? 你记得那个足球广场么？ - Did you build the Estadio Olimpico? 你设计的奥林匹克球场？
No, just down the street, the Celinto Catayente Towers. 不不，就那条街，街头那个“什么都不是”塔楼
It's quite a fine example, in fact. 那个案例做的相当不错实际上
I recommend next time you're up that way... 我建议下次你再去的时候……
that you drop in and take a ganders at it yourself. 去实地瞻仰一下
- You know, I really should take your card. 你知道，我真的应该问你要张名片 - Sure. 是的
As I live and breathe. Will you excuse us for a second? 趁我还在喘气呢，失陪一下
- I'll call you, okay? 我再联系你好么？ - Hey, Earl. 嘿，厄尔
Earl Stein, you old sheep-fucker. How the hell are you? 厄尔·斯丁 你个老肥羊，你还活着呢？
My name's Brian. 我叫布莱恩
Good one. What the hell are you doing out here, Earl? 开玩笑 你在这干球啥呢厄尔？
No, no. My name's Brian. 不 不 我是布莱恩
Brian Mone. 布莱恩·莫内
Oh, I see. Okay, yeah. Whatever you say, Brian. 哦，我知道了，好吧，你随便怎么说 布莱恩
I'll see you at the office, huh? 工作室见 蛤
I'll tell you some stories about this weirdo. 我要告诉你点八卦，关于这个怪咖的
You know that guy? 你认识这个怪人？
Hey, thanks for picking me up, man. 嘿，谢谢你捎我过来兄弟
Yeah, no problem. I've been driving for like 15 hours straight... 没关系啦 我以前开过15个小时高速……
so I could use the company. 所以有个人陪我也是不错的
I know what you mean. I've been standing in the same spot for five and a half hours. 我知道你啥意思，我以前开过五个半小时
You know they made it illegal to hitch hike in this state? 你知道在这个州搭便车是违法的吗？
Really? That must make it really tough. 真的吗，那很多事就更麻烦了
So, what's going on with you? You a salesman, or...? 所以，你要去哪？你是跑销售的？还是……
No. No, I'm nothing. 不不不，我啥都不是
I am. 我是
- Yeah? 啥？ - I'm a salesman. 跑销售的
- I'm gonna start my own company. 我计划开自己的公司 - Really? 是么？
You want in? 你想投资点么？
No. I'm not... 不，不了不了
I don't really have any, you know, money, or... 我实在是穷的可以……
You heard of this thing, the 8 Minute Abs? 你听过那个视频，叫《8分钟腹肌撕裂者》吧？
Yeah, sure, 8 Minute Abs, yeah, the exercise video. 啊 是，我听过 那个锻炼身体的视频
Yeah, well, this is gonna blow that right out of the water. Listen to this. 是的，听着，我的产品绝对能力压它一头 听这个
7 Minute Abs. 《7分钟腹肌撕裂者》
Right. Yes, okay, all right. I see where you're going. 碉堡了 是的，我能看出来你这投资都花到哪里了
Think about it. You walk into a video store, see 8 Minute Abs sitting there... 想想吧 你走进录像厅 看见《8分钟腹肌撕裂者》放在那
there's 7 Minute Abs right beside it. Which one are you gonna pick, man? 旁边正放着我的《7分钟腹肌撕裂者》，是你你选哪个？
- I would go for the 7. Yeah. 我肯定选7啊 - Bingo, man, bingo. 7 Minute Abs. 答对了兄弟，《7分钟腹肌撕裂者》
And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8 Minute folk. 而且，我保证效果一点都不比8分钟的差
You guarantee it? How do you do that? 你保证？你拿什么保证？
If you're not happy with the first seven minutes... 如果你最初试用七分钟，感觉不满意的话
we're gonna send you the extra minute free. 我们会免费再送您一分钟
See, that's it. That's our motto. That's where we're coming from. 你看，这就是咱的广告招牌 这就是我们未来发展的方向
That's from A to B. 就是从8到7
That's right. That's good. That's good. 没错 没毛病，碉堡了
Unless, of course, somebody comes up with 6 Minute Abs. 但当然，除非有人出了个《6分钟腹肌撕裂者》
Then you're in trouble, huh? 那你可就卖不动了 蛤？
No. No, no, not six. 不不不，6分钟不行
I said seven. Nobody's coming up with six. 我的7才是王道，没人会买6分钟的
Who works out in six minutes? 谁会只健身6分钟呢
You won't even get your heart going. Not even a mouse on a wheel. 你的小心脏还没来得及跳两下呢，更不要说你那鼠标刚点开就得再关上
- Good point. 有道理 - Seven's the key number here. 7是关键的数字
- Think about it. 7-Elevens, seven dwarfs. 你想想，7-11便利店、7个小矮人 - Seven, yeah. 7，牛逼
Seven, man, that's the number. 7 ，兄弟，7才是正儿八经的数字
Seven chipmunks twirling on a branch... 七只花栗鼠在树枝上扭……
eating lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. 吃了我叔叔家很多向日葵
You know that old children's tale from the sea. 你知道那个从海上传来的很老的儿童故事
It's like you're dreaming about Gorgonzola cheese... 就像你在梦里吃上了古冈左拉干酪……
when it's clearly Brie time, baby. 当它的时间清清楚楚，宝贝。
Step into my office. 踏进我的办公室
- Why? 为啥？ - Because you're fucking fired. 因为你他妈火烧眉毛了
Yeah. You know what? I gotta pee. I'm gonna pull over. 额，你知道么，我想去先上个厕所，停一会
Your car seats are making me itchy, man. What are these made out of, cactus? 你的车座弄得我身上痒痒的，什么玩意做的车座套啊？仙人掌？
I'm only waiting seven minutes total. 我总共就在这呆七分钟
- Hey, wait your turn. 嘿，等你回来呢 - Sorry. I didn't get a... 不好意思，我没有……
- We gotta get out of here. 我们得赶紧走了 - Wait a minute. Hey, hey. 等一下，嘿 嘿
- This is a raid. 这是打劫 - No. No, no, no. I was peeing. 不不不不 我刚在撒尿
That's what I was doing. I was just peeing. 我刚才尿了一下
- I was peeing too. 我也在撒尿 - Yeah, I'm sure you were all just pissing. 哦，我知道你们都在撒尿
- Let's go. Let's move it out. 走吧，把他们都抓到车上 - Let's go. In the truck, everybody. 走 抓到卡车上，所有人都抓
Holy Shit. Jimmy Shay, is that you? 我了个大槽 是你吗吉米·谢伊？
- No, really... 不是吧…… - Oh, my God. 老天爷
Ted? 泰德？
If you let me talk to you for one second outside of the truck. 咱俩能不能到外边说两句悄悄话
- Into the truck. Get in the truck. 进卡车 快进卡车 - Look, I still have to pee. I wasn't... 那啥，我还得去尿尿
- Let's go. 走吧 - Can I have a cup? 我能拿个杯子用么？
See, hon? I told you he was gay. 你看看 我就告诉你他是个基佬
We'll be right back with more Cops, live from the heartland. 我们马上去多拿点杯子来 中城的转播
That grandmother of yours is really something. 你奶奶还真有套业务啊
Who, Magda? No, Magda's not my grandmother. 谁？玛格达？ 不是，玛格达不是我奶奶
She rents the apartment next door. Her husband died a couple years ago... 她租了我隔壁的房子 她的老公几年前死了……
and I don't think she likes being alone, so, you know, she just hangs out. 而且，我觉得她不是个能耐得住寂寞的人 所以她一般都在外面疯
- Doesn't cramp your style? 你应该不喜欢这种人吧 - Sadly, no. 是啊，不喜欢
You know, sometimes I wish I could be like Magda and not go home. 你知道么，有时候我真的很想像玛格达一样，不用整天在家窝着
Yeah, I'd like to bounce around for a while and do some travelling. 是啊 我有时候也很想满世界溜达着转转
I don't know why anybody would wanna bounce around... 我不理解为什么会有人想“转转”
you know, if they had their own condo in Nepal. 或许因为 如果他们在尼泊尔有自己的公寓
- I'd be there in a second. 换我也会满世界飞得 - I'd sell it. 我会把它卖掉
- Yeah? 是吗？ - Yeah. Start fresh in a new place... 嗯 从一个新的地方开始
give up the architect game. 不在建筑师的这个圈子里混了
Slow things down a bit, read more books, see more movies. 慢节奏生活 看看书 看看电影
Are you a movie buff? 你爱看电影么
Well, I try to be, but it's tough going with all the crap they make today. 额，一般吧 比如像今天这样，一堆破事缠着我，肯定就看不成
I guess I just wish they made movies like they used to make. 我觉得，我只是想让他们拍一部像以前那样的电影
You know, classics like The Karate Kid or Harold and Maude. 你懂的 经典款 比如《龙威小子》或者《哈洛与慕德》
Harold and Maude is my all-time favourite movie. 《哈洛与慕德》简直是我的今生至爱
- Don't bust my chops. I know it's corny... 别打断我的话 我知道这算是老生常谈了…… - Pat, I'm not kidding. 帕特 我没开玩笑
I think Harold and Maude is one of the greatest love stories of our time. 《哈洛与慕德》是我这辈子看过最美好的爱情故事了
Here I thought I was the only one. 我还以为我是唯一一个爱看的
You're too good to be true. Come on, let's go dance. 你简直完美的不像真的 来吧，共舞一曲
(He)', guys. 兄弟们
So... 所以……
- Yeah, well, I guess this is it, huh? 耶，额，我想就到这了吧 蛤？ - I guess. 我想也是
- I'll see you around. 回头见 - Okay. 好
- Mary? 玛丽？ - Yeah? 嗯？
- Forget it. 拉倒吧 - What? 什么？
- No, no, it's stupid. 不不，这太智障了 - What? Come on, you can say it. 这怎么了，你说说试试
- No, really, it's moronic. 不，讲真这很傻啊 - Just say it. 说就对了
Can I feel your bosoms before I go? 我走之前能摸摸你的胸么？
Knock yourself out. 请自便吧
- Okay-doke. So tomorrow night? 好的，所以，明晚见？ - Sure. 好吧
Man, they never look like you'd expect, do they? 兄弟啊，他们从来不按你的剧本走是吧
That's probably how he got his victim to drop his guard. 这或者就是我们能找到受害者的原因——大意了
Where'd they find the body? 他们在哪发现的尸体？
In a big red bag on the front passenger seat. 在副驾驶位上，装在一个红色的大袋子里
All hacked up. 砍碎了都
Gruesome. 恶心
Real psycho, this one. 简直就是个神经病
Hey, you're a little worked up. Let me do the talking. 嘿，你别激动，我来说吧
- I'm Detective Stabler. This is Krevoy. 我是斯塔博探员 这位是克雷沃 - Look, I didn't solicit any sex, okay? 听着，我没接客好么
This is a huge misunderstanding. 这是个误会
I was going out to pee, I'm walking in the bushes... 我就是去上个厕所 我走到树丛边……
I trip over this guy, and there were all these cops and... 我被这个家伙绊倒了，我爬起来发现周围站了一圈警察，并且……
Ted, Ted, Ted, it's okay. We believe you. 泰德 泰德 泰德 没事的，我们相信你
The problem is, we found your friend in the car. 问题是，我们发现你的朋友在车上
Oh, the hitch hiker? 谁？那个搭顺风车的？
That's what this is about? The hitch hiker? 是他么？搭顺风车的那个？
Oh, great. Just my luck. 噢，我真他么的好命
I get caught for everything. 我干点啥都能被抓住
So you admit it? 意思是你承认了？
Yeah. Guilty as charged. 是，我承认了，你们说啥是啥吧
Look, I know that you guys have got a job to do, all right? 听着，我知道你们也不容易
And I'm really sorry. I did it. I admit it. 而且，我真的很抱歉给你添麻烦，我干了，我承认
You know, the guy even told me. The hitch hiker told me it was illegal, $0... 你知道么，这个人告诉我说 开顺风车是违法的
Well... 额……
can you tell us his name? 你能说出来他的名字么
No, I didn't catch it. 不知道，我没问过他啊
Can we cut to the chase? I mean, am I, like, in a lot of trouble here, or...? 咱能不废话了么？我意思是 我是不是摊上什么大麻烦了？
First, tell us why you did it. 首先，交代你的作案动机
Why I did it? 我为什么要这么干？
I don't know. Boredom? 我不知道啊 因为我闲的蛋疼？
Guy turns out to be a blabbermouth. 所以你原来是个满嘴跑火车的人
Just would not shut up. I mean, just... 我没办法不说话 我的意思是，你们……
Ted, this wasn't your first time, was it? 泰德，你这不是第一次了是吧
No. 不是
- How many are we talking here? 你干过几次了？ - Hitch hikers? My whole life? 开顺风车？ 我这一辈子？
I don't know. Twenty-five, 50. I mean, who keeps track? 我不知道啊……开了有25……50次？这他妈谁会去记啊
Hey, I know this is the Bible belt, but where I come from... 嘿 我知道这是“圣经地带”，但你要按我老家的办法……
this is not that big a deal. 这就不是个事
- I mean... 我意思是…… - You son of a bitch. 你个王八操的
You're gonna fry. 你会死的很难看
Hey. Hey. Take it easy. Cut it out. What the hell are you doing? Take it easy. 嘿 嘿 别激动 不要说这些有的没的，你到底在干什么？别激动
- You okay? 你还好吧？ - What the hell is wrong with you? 你有什么大病是？
- You all right? 你没事吧？ - Punk. 还行
Jesus. 老天呀
Your friend Tucker stopped by. 你朋友塔克来了
Really? 来了吗？
Okay. Hey, what does it look like today? 好吧 嘿 今天过得不赖吧？
It's fine. A little crazy in the afternoon. 太不赖了 就是下午有点疯狂了
Hey, Tucker. 嘿 塔克
What's up, doc? 你咋了狗子？
You look different. Did you do something with your hair? 你看起来有点不一样了啊 换发型了？
The teeth. The teeth. I got them capped. 牙，看牙，我带了牙套
Oh, yeah? Hey, they look great. 是吗，牙套太帅了
- You don't think they look a little big? 你不觉得这玩意看起来太大了 - No, not at all. The bigger the better. 不不不，越大越好
But they could be brighter. 但它们可以更白一点
There's nothing more sexy to me than a guy with a mouthful of big pearly whites. 对我来讲，没什么比一个满口大白牙的老爷们更性感的了
- Really? 真的 - Yeah. 不假
Come here. You ever had one up the hatch in here? 你来 你有没有上过甲板看看？
- Tucker, behave yourself. 塔克 注意言辞 - I'm sorry. 对不起
What can I do for you today, my friend? 我的朋友，今天我能给你干点什么？
I wanted to talk to you about your friend Patrick. 我想跟你谈聊聊你的的朋友帕特里克
He's a nice guy, huh? 他是个好人吧
Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out. How long have you known him? 额 我就是想问你这个 你认识他多久了？
Not very long, but I like him. 没几天，但我还挺喜欢他的
Well, I know he's a little different, but that's what I like about him. 额 我知道他有点特立独行 但这也是我喜欢他的点
He dresses like a complete dork. 他那穿着打扮跟个傻屌没两样
He chews with his mouth open. 他嚼东西的时候都不闭住嘴巴
He hardly ever says the right thing, and he probably farts too. 他说的话都是放屁 而且他是不是还经常放屁
That's what you're looking for, is it? A farter? 这就是你想找的人不是么 一个屁精？
No, I'm looking for a guy. 不是，我在找一个男人
Look, it's just that something struck me as strange about him last night. 你看，昨天晚上他很奇怪，但是也给我留下点不一样的印象
He gave me this funny vibe. 我觉得他挺好玩的
Anyway, I called some friends up north... 随便吧，我找了几个北方的朋友打听……
and they've never heard of an architect named Patrick Healy. 他们谁都没听说过一个叫帕特里克·哈利的设计师
And he's not listed as a Harvard alumnus. 而且哈佛的校友会上也没有他
- Fuck! 操！ - Really? 当真？
- That's strange. 这就怪了 - Yes, I thought so. 是啊
Anyway, I hope you don't think I'm being meddlesome. 不管怎样，我希望你不要觉得我像个八婆到处打听
It's just that I think you should be careful with this guy, that's all. 我就是觉得你对陌生人要多加个心眼，仅此而已
I mean, let's face it. 我是说，就目前来看
You're beautiful, and you've got money, and you trust people. 你是个绝色美人，并且还是个富婆 同时还随随便便轻信别人
I'm just saying, there's a lot of psychos out there. 而实话实说，外面的世界变态很多
- Just be careful. 你要多加小心 - Fucker. 个傻逼
Look, Tucker, thank you. I really appreciate you looking out for me. 听着，塔克 谢谢你 我真的很感谢费心费力地给我打听
Okay, listen, I'll call you. 行吧，我再联系你
- Okay. 行 - Okay. 嗯
Damn. 妈的
- You want me to get those for you? 你要我帮你解决么？ - No. I have to learn to do this myself. 不了，我得自己来，得涨涨经验了
Damn. 妈的
My leg. Could you, Mary? 我的大腿，你介意么 玛丽？
Thank you. 谢谢
Wait. Wait. 等等 等等
There. 这里
- See? 看到了么？ - Yeah. 看见了
- I knew I could do it. 我觉得我干得过 - I see. Here, let me get the door. 我知道，我帮你开门
Thank you. 谢谢
- See you later. 随后再见 - Goodbye. 再见
Jane, can you get the door for Tucker, please? 简 你能帮塔克开一下门么？谢谢？
Do you...? You want me to...? 你能……？ 你想我去……？
- No. I've done this a thousand times. 不用，我自己都干过无数回了 - Okay. 好吧
Mr. Stroehmann... 斯特罗曼先生……
on behalf of the entire South Carolina Law Enforcement community... 代表整个南卡罗来纳州的法律部门……
I would like to apologise to you for any pain or temporary inconvenience... 我对向你造成的任何伤害致以最诚挚的歉意
that you may have been caused. 虽然是你自找的
At approximately 10:40 this morning... 今天上午10点40分左右……
a man was apprehended not far from where you were arrested. 一名男子在他逃出之地的不远处被抓了
He was identified as an escaped mental patient... 经过审查，他是一名精神病患者
and subsequently he confessed to the murder you're being held for. 并且他紧接着承认了，他杀了那个在你车上的人
Lab tests confirm a fingerprint match. 罪案组也证实了尸体上的指纹，两者匹配
You mean I'm free to go? 你的意思是，我没事了？
No harm, no foul. 没事了
Oh, by the way, there's someone there to see you. 噢，另外，这还有几个人想见你
Shut up. 闭嘴
You are a lucky son of a bitch, you know that? 你个王八蛋真是走了狗屎运了 你这刁毛
- I am? 是么？ - Yeah. Didn't they tell you? 是啊，他们没告诉你么？
That hitcher was about to cut your throat before you decided to take a piss. 那个搭顺风车的，在你转身撒尿的时候，伸出手来准备掐死你
Had a fucking horseshoe up your ass, my man. 你屁股上沾了个好运护身符知道么
You got that nervous-hive thing again? 你还有个坏消息等着我是吧？
Yeah. Yeah, I do, Ted, because I got some bad news. 是啊是啊泰德 我确实有个坏消息告诉你
Are you okay? 你没事吧？
Ted, I'm dying. 泰德，我快死了
Oh, my. 哦豁，我去
Ted, I'm not dying, man. Come on. 泰德，我要挂了兄弟，来抱抱
Jesus, it's just the humidity down here or something. Come on. 老天爷啊，就因为这潮湿了一点么？来抱抱
No. No, Ted, the bad news I got is about our friend Healy. 不 不 泰德 坏消息是，我知道我们那个“朋友”哈利的下落了
I sent my assistant to his apartment with his last check. 我让我的秘书去他公寓看了看，还带着他的最后一张支票
The landlady said when he came back... 那个女房东说，他回来的时候
he kept talking about falling for some doctor named Mary. 他说着他爱上了一个叫玛丽的医生
- Mary? My Mary? 玛丽？我的玛丽？ - Well... 额……
Ted, here's Healy's address down there. 泰德，这是哈利的住址
In the future, do a little research before you send a guy like that out into the woods. 以后吧，在你把别的羊送入虎口之前，先调查调查对面那个逗逼吧。
I mean, Jesus Chris, it's creepy, okay? 你不觉得， 这简直有病么？吓死爹了
You're not thinking about going out with this guy again? 你不是计划还要跟那个男的出去吧？
Mary, honey, he's a psycho. 玛丽，亲爱的，他就是变态
- Mary, the guy's full of shit. 玛丽，那个男的满嘴屁话啊 - Jesus, this sucks. 老天爷，这太扯了
It's too bad this had to happen. 发生这么个事已经让我很气了
He was almost perfect. 他几乎是个完美的对象
Mary, what did you say Pat's last name was? 玛丽，你说的那个帕特的姓是什么来着？
- Healy. 哈利 - Come here, come here, come here. 你来 你来 你来
- Come on. You gotta hear this. 你来，你得听听这个 - What? 什么？
- That's the way us Healys were raised. 这就是那个哈利为什么这么完美 - So where the hell are you, Healy? 你到底在他妈哪呢？哈利
I got a date tonight with that Mary girl I told you about. 我晚上跟一个叫玛丽的女孩约会 我告诉你了
- The sawbones? 那个医生？ - Yep. 是啊
- Oh, my God, we hit the mother lode. 噢我去 我们踢在铁板上了 - You guys... 你们……
should we be listening to this? 我们应该听这个么？
- She still think you're a fucking architect? 她还以为你是个设计师？ - Oh, yeah. 是的
Dumb shit. 个傻逼娘们
Mr. Perfect, huh? 完美先生蛤？
Hey, watch your mouth. She's a great gal, Mary. 嘿 嘴里干净点 玛丽是个好女孩
- I'm the dumb shit for lying to her. 我才是个傻瓜，我骗了她 - Why didn't you just tell her the truth? 那你怎么不跟她说真话
I don't know. 我不知道
I guess it seems that women today are more impressed by the almighty buck... 我觉得可能现在的女人对那种上天入地的男人没有抵抗力
than some schmo who's spent 17 years scraping by on Peace Corps wages. 像那种用前半辈子在局子里谋活法的男人，她们根本不会看一眼
Jesus, man. 不是吧兄弟
If she's as special as you say, she's gonna wanna hear... 如果她真有你说的那么机警，她会想听到……
about the things you did. 你做的那些事的
You could tell her about the irrigation ditches you dug in Sudan. 你可以告诉她，你在苏丹设计了条河渠
The orphan babies who cried in your arms in... 那些个可怜的孤儿，在你的臂弯里哭泣
Romania. 在罗马尼亚
The hope you gave Freddy the leper in Calcutta. 你给了加尔各答那个麻风病人——弗莱迪 生的希望
I'll be honest with you. I'm a selfish prick. 我跟你实话说的，我就是个自私的王八蛋
I get a high from helping all God's creatures. 帮助世间万物，使我心生光荣
An honest-to-goodness high. I did all those things for myself. 一个诚实的上帝代言人，我做那些事都是为了我自己
(Hey, hey, hey) 嘿 嘿 嘿
That's bullshit, man. 这都是瞎扯淡兄弟
Hey. Hey, you were on the front line. 嘿 嘿 你在前线的时候
You remember? The malaria, the typhoon fever? 你还记得？疟疾，台风
That vicious strain of genital herpes? 还有生殖器带状孢疹
Fuck. 操
Yeah, I cured all sorts of horrible illnesses in Third World countries. 是的，我治好了第三世界国家所有的恶劣疾病
But the bottom line is, I'm not gonna use my philanthropy as some kind of currency. 但说到底，我没有把我的乐善好施一以贯之
Especially after what I did. 特别是在我做了这些事情以后
I lied to that poor girl. 我骗了那个可怜的女孩
Lied, man. 撒谎了兄弟
Well, love will make you do... 哎 爱情会让你……
fucked-up things. 搞砸一切
You said it, mister. I gotta run. 这话是你说的，我得走了
We're dicks. 我们都是大屁眼子
Come here, baby. Come here, sweetheart. 宝宝来这里 来这里小可爱
I'll feed you and Bill soon. Come on, honey. 我马上就来喂你和比尔，很快的宝贝
It's him. It's him. 是他 是他
Oh, hi. Mary. 噢 嗨 ，玛丽
Hello. 你好
Mary, look. 玛丽 我跟你说
Look, there's something I have to tell you. 我有些事想告诉你
I'm not the architect you... 我不是一个设计师
- Okay, guys, let's huddle up. 没事的兄弟，我们来抱抱 - Come on, Jimmy. 来嘛 吉米
Jimmy, I'm open. Hit me. Come on. 吉米，我敞开胸怀了，打我，来吧
Exceptional, my ass. 别打屁股
Looks like I double-jumped you, Warren, for the win. Pay up, big guy. 看来我晃了你两次，华伦 为了胜利，愿赌服输吧兄弟
- Coconut. 椰子 - Yeah, very good. Coconut. 耶，非常好 椰子
Coconut. 椰子
Where's the rest of it, Warren? 剩下的呢华伦？
Look at her. 看看她
She's more beautiful than I remember. She's perfect. 她比我记忆中更美了 她是完美的女神
Thanks for picking up the lunch tab, Mare. Sorry I forgot my wallet. 谢谢你请了午饭 玛丽 对不起，我忘了带钱包
- I feel like a dog. 我觉得我就跟个狗一样 - Don't worry about it. It was fun. 别担心，很好玩的
Fuck me. 卧槽
How's my stomach taste? 我的胃尝起来好吃么？
How's my stomach taste, she says. 她说 我的胃尝起来好吃么？
Holy shit. Look, look. There's Warren. 我了个去 看看看 是华伦
Franks and beans. 香肠炒青豆
- Frank and beans. 香肠炒青豆 - Warren, you just ate. 华伦，你才吃完饭
Leave him alone. He's just got a big appetite. Right, Warren? 别管他，他才刚吃完午饭，是吧华伦？
I said you got a big... 我说，你才刚吃完一大顿……
Warren, Warren, Warren. 华伦 华伦 华伦
Yes. 啊
Listen, you can't touch his ears unless he trusts you. I'm sorry. 听着，你不能碰到他的耳朵，除非他很信任你了，对不起
- Are you okay? 你没事吧 - Not to worry. 别担心
- So I'll see you tonight, right? 那么，今晚见？ - Sure. 嗯
Come here, Warren. You okay? 来这里华伦，你还好么？
- He broke it. 他打破了 - I saw. 我看到了
Okay. What are you waiting for? Let's go. 好了，别在这傻等了，走吧
- What? No. I don't know what to say. 什么？不 我不知道该说什么 - What are you talking about? 你们聊什么了？
Tell her the truth about Healy. Blow the schmuck out of the water. 告诉她关于哈利的真相啊 把那个傻蛋按在马桶里洗头
No, I can't. 不行，不能这样
I unleashed the psycho on her. She's gonna be fucking pissed. 是我派这个变态接近她的 她知道了会气疯的
- Mary. Mary. 玛丽 玛丽 - No, no. Stop. 不，不 停下
Mary? 玛丽？
Mary? Is that...? It is you. 玛丽？那是……？是你啊
- Who is that? 看看这是谁？ - Hi. It's Ted. 你好，是泰德
Ted? 泰德
Yeah, Ted from Rhode Island. Ted. 泰德，那个罗德岛来的 泰德
Te...? Oh, my God. Ted. 泰……老天爷 泰德
- Hey. Good, how are you? 嘿，太好了，你怎么样？ - It's good to see you. 很高兴见到你真的
- Good to see you. 我也是 - How you been? 你过得怎么样？
I'm... 我……
I haven't seen you since... 自从那啥以后我都没见过你了……
Yeah, since... 是啊，那啥……
- Senior prom. 年终舞会 - That's right, senior prom. 是啊，年终舞会
You got a great memory. Oh, man, that was... 你还记得呢 噢，这真是……
Haven't thought about that in years. Yeah. 这么多年真是没想到
So how's everything? 所以，你过得不赖吧？
- Everything, you know. 各方各面，你知道我的意思 - Oh, that's fine. 噢，还可以吧
I was in and out of the hospital in a couple of weeks. 我这几个礼拜都忙着在医院进进出出
It was not a big deal at all. 但是没什么大事
Now I'm good. Strong like bull. Really good. 现在我还行 壮的像牛一样，挺不赖的
- Hey. Hi, Warren. 嘿 嗨 华伦 - Hi, Ted. 嗨 泰德
- How are you? 你怎么样？ - I'm... How are you? 我……你怎么样？
- I can't believe that he remembers you. 哇，我都不敢相信他还记得你 - Piggyback ride? 骑大马？
Oh, piggyb No. You know what? I'll take a rain check this time, okay? 噢，骑大马 不了，你看，我想把这个珍贵的机会留到以后，好么
He never remembers anybody. 他从来都不记人的
- It's amazing. 大吃一惊啊 - Yeah. 是啊
So, what are you doing here? 所以，你来这干嘛？
- Do you work here, or...? 你是在这工作么还是？ - Yeah, no, this is my office. 是 不 这是我的办公室
Well, it's up there. 就在这个上面
So yeah, I was just out on my lunch break with Warren. It's crazy. 太好了，我才刚和华伦吃完午饭，太疯狂了
- What are you doing here? 你在这干啥？ - Well, that's a funny story. 额……说起来也算个故事
I was... I decided to... 我……我计划……
I got in the car with my friend, and we just... 我跟我朋友上了车，并且我们刚……
We came down to Florida, right? 我们计划去佛罗里达 是吧？
Right. 是
Well, you look great. You look really good. 好吧，你看起来真不错，棒极了
I mean, what's the story? Are you married? Do you have kids? 我的意思是，怎么能这么棒呢？你结婚了么？有孩子么？
- No. No. Dodged a few bullets. 没没没 倒是躲开了几次生死攸关的坎 - Yeah? 是么？
Yeah. God, this is just so bizarre. 是啊，这疯狂的世界
- I'm standing here with Mary Jensen. 我站在这里，和玛丽·简森一起 - No, no, now it's Mary Matthews. 不，不对 现在她是玛丽·马修斯了
Oh, did you...? 噢，那你是不是……
No, no, no. I haven't walked down that plank yet, no. 不，不，不 我还没有跨过那条线呢 没有
But it was this thing in college. 但是，它是大学的事了
This creepy guy who... 有个瘆人的男的……
Anyhow, there was a restraining order, it got kind of ugly... 无论如何 现在他不能接近我了 事情发展的有点不太好看
and after Princeton, I decided, You know what? Be cautious. 另外，从普林斯顿毕业以后，你猜我决定干嘛？小心点
Change your name. Just kind of leave that behind. 改了自己的名字 想把一切都抛在脑后
- Right. Right. 没事没事 - Just didn't need that. 不需要那样
- That sounds horrible. 这听起来不太好 - It was... Yeah. 它……是，不太好
It was, but it's over, I think, so it's good. 以前是很糟，但是现在都结束了，所以总体还可以
Hey, what are you doing tonight? Do you think you wanna, I don't know... 嘿，你今晚上有事么？你想不想 我不知道你……
go out to dinner? You know, catch up on old times? 一起吃个饭？ 你懂的，追忆往昔嘛
Didn't we just do that? 我们这不是一直在追忆么
I'm fucking with you, Ted. 我逗你玩呢泰德
No, listen, I'd really... I'd like to. 不，听着 我真的……想去
It'd be great, but I sort of already have plans tonight. 太好了 但是我晚上已经有了计划了
- But I'm free tomorrow night. 但是明天晚上，我没事 - Yeah, sure. Or, you know... 耶，好的，或者你知道……
Or you could blow off that jerk you're going out with tonight... 你可以放那个混蛋鸽子，然后今晚……
and come out with me. 跟我走
What hotel are you staying at? 你在哪落脚？
The Cardozo. 卡多索
- Pick you up at 8? 8点去接你？ - Sure. 好
- Okay. 好 - Okay. OK
- Cool. See you. 好的，再见 - Bye. 拜拜
♪ Look closely at this picture♪ 仔细看看这一幕
♪ Ted and Mary like before.♪ 泰德和玛丽一如从前
♪ Can you see her as Ted sees her.♪ 你能像泰德看她一样看她么
♪ And why he couldn't wait no more?♪ 为什么他就不能多等等
♪ And if you still think he's being silly♪ ♪ Then you've still got more to see.♪ 如果你还觉得他傻傻的，那你就再看看
♪ Because this isn't just a date, folks ♪ ♪ This is chemistry.♪ 因为这不单单是约会，而是两个人碰撞出爱情的火花
♪ And Mary.♪ 并且，是和玛丽
♪ Well, there's just something about Mary.♪ 都知道 玛丽总是那么令人着迷
Banana, banana. 香蕉 香蕉
We're gonna be buying bananas tonight. 我们今晚上去买香蕉
Whys that? 为啥？
Back when I was your age, I always used to make myself a big banana split after sex. 我在你这个岁数的时候，每次做爱完都给自己来一根香蕉
I think you're gonna need one tonight. 我觉得你今晚可能也需要
Don't get ahead of yourself. You'll be eating a banana split before I do. 别太上头了 你会比我先吃香蕉的
Don't bet on it. 别太指望
Last time I had a Pap smear... 上次我做宫颈检查……
the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker. 那个男的戴着皮手套脚蹬防水鞋
I am a little psyched. 我有点激动
I ran into this guy I haven't seen since high school. 我跑向这个男人，这个我从高中以后就没见过的男人
- An old flame? 一个旧情人？ - Kind of. Ted Stroehmann. 算是吧 泰德·斯特罗曼
The sweetest guy in the world. 世界上最体贴的男人
I mean, he was so cute. 我的意思是，他蛮可爱的
He was so shy and clumsy, and he had this huge mouth full of metal. 他有点害羞，还有点呆呆的 嘴里还带着大牙套
You know how I like braces. 你知道我最喜欢牙套了
Anyhow, we're going out tonight. 不管怎样，我们晚上要出去约会
Oh, no. 奥 不
God, that reminds me. I have to call and cancel with what's-his-face. 你提醒我了，我得打电话给那个无脸男取消今晚的约会
What's-his-face? 无脸男？
Wait a minute, do I sense a chill in the air? 等等，我怎么感觉这气氛不太对呢
Oh, Magda. 奥 玛格达
I let my head get in the way of this one. 我一头扎进这段感情
You know, I always pick guys from what I feel in here. 你知道的，我向来都是随心所欲
But for some reason with Pat, I kept saying to myself: 但是，不知怎么地，那个帕特，我一直对自己说：
Mary, grow up. You have so much in common with this guy. 玛丽，醒醒吧，你和他有很多共同点
You'll learn to feel something for him. But... 你会从他身上学到怎么去爱 但是
it just didn't happen. 就是没有火花出现
- Who is it? 谁啊 - It's Tucker. 塔克
- Tucker. 塔克 - Hello, how are you? 你好啊，过得怎么样
- Good, how are you? 不错，你呢 - I'm fine, thank you. 我也不错，谢谢
- Look who's here. 看看谁在这 - There she is. 她在这呢
I brought you a little thirst quencher, Mag. 我给你带了瓶王守义料酒 玛格达
- Oh, are you sweet.. 奥，你真贴心 - No, I'm not. 不，我不贴
I just wanna get you drunk so you'll pass out... 我就是想把你灌醉，然后你就会昏过去
and I can give Mary a good rogering. 我就可以给你一个“炮火连天”
- You want me to pour you one? 你想现在来一杯么？ - Thanks, but I have to be going. 谢谢，但我得走了
- Unfortunately, this is not a social visit. 不幸的是，咱这不是老朋友聚聚会 - Really? What's up? 是么？怎么了？
Well, I've got a little more news about your friend Healy. 额……我有点哈利的消息了
Tucker, every-thing's okay. 塔克，没事的
He confessed everything. He told me he's not an architect. 他坦白了所有的事，他告诉我他不是设计师
You were right. But right now, I'm actually running behind... 你是对的，但是现在，我打算继续往前走了
Mary, the man's a killer. 玛丽，那个男的是个杀手
- What? 啊？ - Yes. 是的
I have a friend in the Boston Police Department. 我在波士顿警察局有个朋友
He faxed me this this morning. I'll just give you the highlights. 他今早上发的通缉令 我给你标出来你看
After a short stint as a petty thief... 在短暂的小偷生涯后……
Patrick R. Healy graduated to armed robbery by the age of 14. 帕特里克·R·哈利 14岁时在一次武装抢劫中被捕了
At 16, he committed his first murder. 16岁，他承认他犯下了第一桩谋杀案
A pretty teacher's aide named Molly Pettygrove. 一个漂亮的助教 莫莉·佩蒂格罗夫
He was incarcerated until the age of 22, when, despite a grim psychological profile... 他长到22岁 尽管心理健康不容乐观……
the state was forced to release him. 州政府迫于压力，还是释放了他
In his mid-20s and again in his early 30s... 在他20多快30的时候
he was suspected of homicides in the states of Utah and Washington. 他涉嫌在犹他州和华盛顿州犯下命案
Unfortunately, the bodies were so badly decomposed... 不幸的是，尸体已经严重腐烂……
there wasn't enough evidence to hold him, and so on and so forth. 没有足够的证据来起诉他……
What am I gonna do? I'm supposed to meet this guy in an hour. 我这怎么办呀？再一个小时我就得去见他了
Well, just calm down. Every thing's going to be fine. Don't worry. 额……别紧张 事情都会解决的
Tucker. 塔克
Why you two never hooked up is beyond me. 我实在猜不透你们俩为什么从来没有好过
I'm so lucky to have you as a friend. 我真幸运有你这个朋友
Yes, well, don't get all gooey on me, now. You're gonna give me a big head. 是的，好吧，现在不要对我太黏了 我都头大了
See, the important thing, doctor... 你看，关键是 医生
is you have to distance yourself as much as possible... 你必须尽可能地保持距离……
without pissing this psycho off. 而不会激怒这个疯子
Okay. 好
All right. I know what I've gotta do. I know what I gotta do. Where's the phone? 好吧 我知道我该干什么 我知道 我的电话呢？
You're gonna pay, fucker. 你会为此付出代价的 操你妈
I don't know, Dom. 不好说 多姆
I don't feel good. I feel nervous. I really feel nervous. 我觉得不太行 有点紧张我 非常紧张
Oh, come on, relax. Relax. 噢，别紧张了
- You been to the cash machine? -你去过提款机吗？ - Yeah. 去过了
Car clean? Plenty of gas? 车洗了么？油加满了？
- Breath. How's your breath? 口气，口气清不清新？ - It's fine. I had some Altoids. 还行，我这有几片绿箭
All right, I think you're all set. So just go clean the pipes and it's a go. 好了，我觉得你准备好了 擦枪亮炮 出发
You know, clean the pipes. 是，擦枪亮炮
What do you mean, clean the pipes? 什么叫擦枪亮炮 ？
You choke the chicken before any big date, don't you? 在任何重要约会之前你都会噎死一只鸡，不是吗？
Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date. 告诉我你在重要约会前打猴子屁股
Oh, my God. He doesn't flog the dolphin before a big date. 老天 他居然没有在重要约会前性虐待海豚
- No. 不会 - Are you crazy? 你疯了吧
That's like going out there with a loaded gun. 这就等于一把上了膛的枪揣在裤兜里
Of course that's why you're nervous. 是啊，这就是我紧张的原因
Oh, my dear friend, please sit. Please. 噢我亲爱的朋友，请坐吧
Look, after you've had sex with a girl and you're lying in bed with her... 听着，在你和一个女孩上床以后，你躺在她的身边
are you nervous? 你紧张么？
- No. 不紧张 - No, you're not. Why? 为啥不紧张
Because I'm tired. 因为我很累了
Wrong. It's because you ain't got the baby batter on the brain anymore. 回答错误 因为你脑子里已经没有淫虫作祟了
Jesus. That stuff will fuck your head up. 耶稣啊 那些淫虫会害死你的
Look. 看
The most honest moment in a man's life are the few minutes... 男人一辈子最真诚的时刻就那么几秒钟……
after he's blown his load. 在他终于把攒了好几天的“弹药”发射出来的时候
That is a medical fact, and the reason for it is that you're no longer trying to get laid. 医学也证明了，因为这个时候的男人不再满脑子性交了
You're actually... You're thinking like a girl, and girls love that. 你开始真的……像个女人一样思考 而女人还很吃你这一套
Holy shit. 卧槽
I've been going out with a loaded gun. 我刚才裤兜里插枪出门了
People get hurt that way. 人们会因此受伤的
Healy. How smashing to see you. 哈利，这怎么能在这见到你
- You're dead, mother fucker. 受死吧臭傻逼 - Okay. Take it easy. 好好好，别激动
Who the fuck do you think you are, making that shit up about me? 你他妈以为自己是谁 在那瞎鸡巴扯淡
It's that stalker, Ted. 那个跟踪狂 泰德
He got a hold of you, didn't he? 他在背后支持你不是么
You're working for him, aren't you, you little shit? 你难道不是为他打工么？ 你个臭狗屎
Who? 谁？
Either you come clean, or I'm gonna kick your fucking ass. 要不你滚犊子，要不我打的你连你妈都不认识
I love her, man. 我爱她 兄弟
- What? 啥？ - You heard me, god-damn it. 你听到我说的了 别装逼
I love Mary, man. 我爱玛丽 兄弟
I'm a phony. Just like you. 我是个伪君子，就和你一样
- What do you mean? 你什么意思 - I mean I'm a fucking fraud. 我的意思是，我是个傻逼骗子
I'm no architect. Don't be a putz, man. 我不是设计师，别去秘鲁兄弟
Who's been to Santiago, Chile, twice in one year? 谁两年前去了智利的圣地亚哥？
- I've never even been to Jersey. 我从来没去过泽西州 - Okay, okay. Just take it easy. 好好好，别激动
Wait a minute. You knew those people back at Harvard. 等等，你知道那些人是从哈佛回来的
Fuck, I knew shit, man. 操，我上哪知道呢大哥？
The only thing I knew was that you were a fake... 我只知道一件事——你是假的
and I made up everything else. 而我编了其他的那些假故事
My real name's Norm. 我的真名是诺姆
I'm a pizza-delivery boy. 就是个送外卖的
Here. Look. Here's my ID. 给，你看看，这是我身份证
Fuck me. 操你大爷
Hey, boy. How about the pizza, huh? 嘿兄弟，外卖好送么？蛤？
Yeah? Well, fuck you. 啊？ 噢 草泥马
Calm down, honey. 冷静点亲爱的
Hey, you want your pizza? Here, man. 嘿，你想吃块披萨么？ 来 接着
Excuse my friend. 别跟我这朋友一般见识
He's had a little too much to drink. 他今天假酒喝多了
Yeah. Yeah. 没事 没事
Keep the change. 不用找了
Where the hell did it go? 它去了哪了？
Hang on. Wait a second. 等等 等一下
- Hello. How you doing? 你好啊，过得不赖吧？ - Hey. Hi. Good, how are you? 嘿 你好 还凑活，你呢？
- Good. 我也还行 - Good. 那挺好
You are looking very beautiful. 你看起来真是美极了
Thank you. 谢谢你
What is that? 那是什么东西？
On your ear. 在你耳朵上
- Ear? 耳朵？ - No, your left ear. 不，在你左耳朵
Is that...? 那是个……
Is that hair gel? 那是发胶吗？
- Yeah. 是的 - Great. I could use some. 太好了，我正好想用点
- No, no, no. You don't have to. You don't... 不不不，你不用的，你不用…… - No, really. 不，我真要来点
I just ran out. 我刚用完了
- How we doing over here? 你在这过得怎么样？ - Okay. 不错
- Little more wine? 添点酒？ - Sure. 添吧
So when you say killer, you mean... 所以，当你说杀手的时候，你的意思是……
- He's a murderer. Yeah. 他是个杀人犯 是的 - Like, an actual convicted murderer? 你是说，一个真的杀过人的罪犯？
He killed people. I know, it's crazy. 他杀了人，我知道，太疯狂了
- And, what, did he ever go to jail, or he's...? 那还有什么 他以前进过监狱 或者…… - Yeah, in Boston. 是的，在波士顿
- He spent... I don't know how long. 他在里面呆了……我也不知道他呆了多久 - He got out? 他被放出来了？
Well, it's obvious. The system sucks. 额 这不是明白这么 美国的司法体系不如个屁
The guy's walking the streets. I'm kissing him. 他大摇大摆走在街上 我还亲了他
Right, but you didn't do anything else, right? 没事，但你没跟他更进一步吧？没有吧？
- What? 啥？ - I mean, you didn't... 意思是……你没有……
- No, no, no. 没没没 - No, okay. 没有，太好了
- God, I couldn't live with myself. 老天，要那样我就自杀了 - No, I mean... 不是，我是说
I only went out with him a couple times, but, you know, just the thought of that... 我就跟这个男的出去了两回，但是你知道么，我就是觉得……
I shouldn't be putting this all on you. I'm sorry. 我不应该朝你撒气，对不起
- We haven't seen each other in so long. 我们许久不见了 - No, it's just I feel really bad. 不，我就是觉得很难过
I'm tired of talking about stalkers. Let's talk about you. 我不想再谈论那些跟踪狂了 谈谈你吧
Are you okay? Yeah? 你没事吧？
- Do you want some water? 你想喝点水么？ - No, I'm good. 不了 不渴
So then in '94, I went back to Dade Community College for a semester. 在94年的时候，我回哒哒社区大学去参加校友会
And when the WalMart cashier job fell through, I hooked up with Peking Pizza. 当沃尔玛不用我干收银员后，我就去老北京披萨店了
Hey, Cat, how about a couple of brews over here, man? 嘿，小骚货，陪爷喝一杯怎么样？
Hey, get the fuck out of here. 嘿 滚你妈的蛋
I told you 20 times you're not welcome here anymore. 我告诉过你20回了，你在这不受欢迎
Hey, hey, hey, you, where's that coming from? 嘿 嘿 嘿 你 这话从何说起？
It's coming from you always skipping out on your tab. 从你天天逃单说起
Hey, I got cash. 嘿 我有钱
Okay, Norm. 行吧 诺姆
You pay, I'll pour. In that order. 你先付钱，我再给你倒酒，以后就这规矩
- Hey, Tracy, how are the twins? 嘿 崔西 你的“双胞胎”怎么样了 - Fuck you, Norm. 操你妈 诺姆
That's it, I like it when you talk dirty to me, man. 就这个feel 我最喜欢你朝着我骂脏话了
Here you go, big guy. 给你 大家伙
Come on, cough it up, chompers. 来吧，多往出吐点，麻溜的
Thanks. 谢谢
So how the hell did you meet Mary? 所以，你是怎么碰见玛丽的？
It was just dumb luck, really. 就是撞了个大运 真的
I delivered a pie to her and she answered the door in her nightgown... 我去给她送外卖，见她跟她的邻居在聊……
and, wow, that was it for me. 并且，那简直就是我梦中的场景
I went home that night, shaved my beard, and a week later... 那天晚上我回了家 刮了胡子 过了一个礼拜……
I'm laid out in her office with a broken back. 我就躺在她的办公室了，带着我脊椎错位的残躯
Broken back? How did you do that? 脊椎错位？你怎么弄得？
A friend. Baseball bat. 一个朋友 用棒球棍
Touche. 挺狠的
You want another one? 你再来一杯吗？
Sure. Yeah. Hey, Ducky. 当然 耶 嘿 丫丫
- Couple more nitrate-sicles, please. 再来几根老冰棍 - Two corn dogs coming up. 还来两根玉米肠
You know, I don't think that they have enough meats on sticks. 你知道的，我觉得他们没有什么棍子上带肉的食物
No, seriously. If you think about it, they have plenty of sweets. 我说真的 如果你仔细想想 他们有很多“糖果”
They have lollipops, they have Fudgsicles, they have Popsicles... 有棒棒糖 有小熊软糖 有冰棍
but they don't have any other meat on sticks. 但他们没有任何一种食物是棍上带肉的
- Yes, you don't see many meats on sticks. 是啊，你还真一般看不见烧烤摊呢 - Absolutely not. 当然不是
You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see more meats in a cone. 你知道我想看见什么么？我想看见更多的肉被卷起来
You don't hardly ever see that. You know, that's an idea I think is waiting to pop. 这不是什么稀罕物 你知道 这只是一个点子，我觉得以后能大爆
Just like a nice, you know, nice, big, oversize waffle-cone... 就好比一个好好吃的 很大尺寸的 华夫饼
- stuffed full of chopped liver. 中间夹上切碎的猪肝 - Chopped liver. 切碎的猪肝
Exactly. 是滴
- Too bad you don't live here, Ted. 你不在这住真是太可惜了泰德 - Yeah? 是么？
Yeah. We have a lot in common. 是啊，我们有很多共同话题
Well, you know, maybe... 额 你知道或许我……
Have you ever thought about maybe moving back up to Rhode Island? 你有没有想过，有一天回搬回罗德岛？
I thought about it, but I got too much of a good thing going on here. 我有想过，但是我在这也过得很快乐
I got a great practise, I like the people I work with, and Warren. 我有一份好工作 我也喜欢我的同事们 还有华伦
You know, maybe you should just, like, move down here and marry me. 你知道，或许你可以搬来这里，和我结婚
- So you're a writer. 所以你是个作家？ - Yeah, well, I'm trying to be. 是啊，我朝着那个方向努力呢
Well, the good thing about writing is you can do it anywhere. 当作家嘛，最好的事就是你在哪都可以工作
That's true. 那倒是
How about you? How did you manage to stay single all these years? 那你呢？这么多年你怎么还保持着优雅的单身？
Well, I'm bisexual, so that's hard for a lot of guys to understand. 额，我是个双性恋 所以很难找到一个愿意理解我的男人
- Well... 啊这…… - You gonna smoke that? 你要抽那个么？
You know, I read somewhere that most women... 你知道么 我以前在哪里看过 大多数女人……
if you really ask them honestly, have tendencies towards... 如果你真的能真诚地 优雅地询问她们……
- I mean, everybody has a bit of... 我是说所有人都多少有点…… - Ted, I'm fucking with you. 泰德，我逗你玩呢
Yeah. 啊
Stalking mother fucker. 变态傻逼跟踪狂
I know. It sickens me. 我知道 这让我恶心
Actually, I did almost get married once. 实际上，有一次我差点就结婚了
What happened? 怎么回事？
Well, he was a really great guy. 嗯……他真的是个好男人
He lived up north, and... 他在北城住，并且……
Come on, let's go. 来嘛，咱们走
Here you go. 给你
Wait. How many is this? 等等 这是第几个了？
- Four. 第四个 - Four? 第四个？
That seems like an awful lot of speed to give one little pooch. 你给这个狗喂药的速度也太快了
- Are you sure it won't kill him? 你确定这不会杀了他？ - I never said that. 我可没打包票
Baby. 宝贝
Good, good, good. 好好好
And so then it was over. We really haven't spoken since. 就这样 我们分手了，再也没见过了
Wow, sounds like he was almost perfect. 哇，听起来他确实挺完美的了
Almost. 几乎完美
Hey, you wanna go upstairs and watch Sports Centre? 嘿，你想上楼看看体育频道么
You know, I think I'm just gonna quit while I'm ahead. 你知道，我想我会半途而废的
You're not that far ahead, Ted. 也不算半途吧，你也没走多远泰德
Magda. 玛格达
What are you doing? 你干嘛呢？
Hi, hon. Just straightening up. 你好啊亲爱的 我正在这打扫家呢
Put that down. 把那玩意放下
Magda. 玛格达
Thanks, doll. 谢谢你宝贝
Magda. Magda. 玛格达 玛格达
Honey, where is Puffy? 亲爱的，狗子去哪了？
He was being a pest. I put him in the bathroom. 他都臭了 我把他放在浴室里了
Really? 是吗？
Ted? 泰德？
Can you do me a favour? Would you mind letting the dog out? 你能帮我个忙么？你能帮我把这个狗子弄出去么？
I think I should have a talk with Magda here. 我觉得我得跟玛格达谈谈了
Sure, yeah. 是啊 没错
- Over here. 在这里 - Where? 哪里？
- Here. Fine. 这里 - Good. What's going on? 好的，发生什么了？
More cleaning. 更干净了
- How much coffee did you have tonight? 你晚上喝了多少咖啡 - None. 没喝啊
Mary? 玛丽？
What kind of dog is Puffy? 你家的狗子是什么样的？
- Border terrier. 边牧 - Border terrier. Like Benji. 边牧 像笨鸡一样
Hey. 嘿
Are you the little guy making all that big noise? 你就是那个人小声音大得家伙么？
Oh, Ted! 奥，泰德
Puffy, Stop it! 狗子 别动
Take a little bit of this. 看招吧
Puffy. Puffy. 狗子 狗子
Puffy! 狗子！
That's all you got, pal? 你就这两下子蛤兄弟？
Ted. 泰德
No, no, no. 不不不不
Puffy! 狗子！
Puffy! Puffy! Puffy! 狗子！狗子！狗子！
How do you know that I'm right? 你怎么知道我是对的？
Well, you know. No, I don't. 额……就那么着 不我不知道
- You want a grape? 你吃个葡萄么？ - A grape? Sure. 葡萄？ 好啊
- Ready? 准备好了么？ - Yeah. 来吧
All net. All net. We make a good team. 全中 全中 咱俩简直配合无间
Hey. Come on. Want a go? 嘿来吧，想去吗？
- Closer? 近一点？ - Don't be afraid. It's all right. 别怕，没事的
Get in closer. That's good. Don't be afraid. Get right in there. A little bit more. 离近点，别怕，挺好的 来这里，再过来一点
Good. He'll be fine. Mary, you're being overprotective. 好 他会没事的 玛丽 你有点过于操心了
No, no, no. We already... We got... 不不不 我们已经 我们……
Come on, come on. 来 来
Warren. Warren. 华伦 华伦
- Warren. 华伦 - Warren. 华伦
Warren. 华伦
- Warren. 华伦 - Warren, come here. Stop. 华伦 来这，不许动了
I'm okay. I'm okay. 我没事 我没事
(Hey. He) 嘿 他……
- It's his fault. He hit me with that stuff. 这是他的错 他拿着东西给了我一下 - Here, let me help with that. 来，我帮你
Warren! Warren! 华伦 华伦
I didn't do it. He got in the way. 我什么都没干 他挡路了
I know, I know, I know. Does anybody have any pliers? 我知道 我知道 我知道 大家伙谁有止痛药么？
Needle-nose, otherwise? Anything? 杜冷丁什么的都行 什么都没有么？
Hey. 嘿
Flowers are for you, ball is for Warren. Had a friend Fed Ex it from Boston. 花送给你 球送给华伦 我有个朋友从波士顿来的
Signed by Tony Conigliaro. 由托尼·科尼利亚罗签署
Did you hire Pat Healy to spy on me? 是不是你雇了帕特·哈利来监视我？
What? 啊？
What are you talking about? 你在说什么？
I got an anonymous letter. 我收到一封匿名信
It's not true, right, Ted? 这不是真的 是不是泰德？
Well, it's an interesting thing that happened. l... 这个事发生的也挺好玩的……
Yeah, it's true, but it's not... 行吧，是真的，但这不是……
Okay. Get out. 好吧，滚你妈的
Mary, wait. First of all, I didn't know that this guy was... 玛丽，等一下 首先我不知道这个男的是……
What, that he was a murderer? 是什么？杀人犯？
That, yeah, in addition to many other things. 杀人犯 是的 也包括其他那些不良名号
I mean, I didn't know anything about the guy. I hardly know him. 我是说 我压根就不认识这个男的啊 我完全不知道他以前是个什么畜生
How could you do that, Ted? 你怎么能干出来这事泰德？
How could you have some guy you don't even know spy on me? 你怎么能雇一个陌生人来监视我？
What were you trying to do? 你是计划干什么？
Trick me into feeling something for you? 骗我再爱上你是么？
No. I didn't... 不是的 我没有……
I didn't wanna trick you. 我从来就不想骗你
Just leave. Okay? 你就爬走吧 好么？
Mary. 玛丽
Go. 滚
I did it because I never stopped thinking about you. 我这么做 因为我从来没有一天不想你
And if I didn't find you, I knew that my life would never, ever be good again. 如果我找不到你 我知道我这辈子就完蛋了，快乐再也与我无关
Hey. 嘿
Healy. You in there? 哈利 你在里面么？
Hello? 有人吗？
And it was going along just fine until you showed up. 而我的日子一天比崩溃 直到你又像天使一样降临在我面前
Holy shit. 放狗屁
This is a pretty nice place. 这是个很不错的地方
Sully, what the fuck happened? 苏利，发生什么了？
- Hey, surprise. 嘿 惊不惊喜意不意外 - Hey, peace, man. Come on. 嘿 淡定兄弟 淡定
- You fucked me, man. 你把我耍的好苦啊兄弟 - Wait. Come on. 等等 什么啊
- Man, don't do anything rash now, buddy. 你现在最好不要轻举妄动兄弟 - Who the fuck is this guy? 这个逗逼是谁啊
That's Norm. He's a pizza boy. He's in love with Mary too. 这是诺姆，送外卖的 他现在和玛丽在一起了
Look, come on, man. 蛤 别这样兄弟
All right, look, I think everybody could use a drink right now. 行吧 我觉得所有人都该来一杯了现在
I don't want a drink. 我不想
- Fuck you. 去你妈了个 - Hey, hey, hey, look. 嘿 嘿 嘿 快看
You asked me to follow around your girl and I did. 你拜托我去跟踪你的旧情人 我也跟了
And then the truth is, I started to like her. 而且我不跟你玩虚的，我就是爱上她了
And that's when I realised I couldn't in good conscience bring myself to do it. 而与此同时，我也发现我没法在清醒的时候去做这个事
Do what? 做什么事？
Turn her over to a violent stalker. 把她拱手相让给一个暴力跟踪变态狂
Oh, I'm a stalker? You're calling me a violent stalker? 噢，我是跟踪狂？你还叫我暴力跟踪变态狂？
- Oh, yeah. Sure. 噢 对啊，怎么 - I'm a...? 我是一个……？
Oh, my God. 噢上帝啊
That poor dog. 这可怜的小家伙
- Hey, fuck you. 嘿操你妈的 - Fuck you. 操你妈的
You just can't take the fact that it was my turn. 你就是接受不了这个事实是吧
- Your turn'? 事实？ - Yeah, that's right. My turn. 事实，我现在上位了
Why can't I ever get a girl like Mary? 为什么我从来都碰不到像玛丽这样的姑娘
Just because you didn't get her, you didn't have to blow us both out of the water. 就算你得不到她，你也不能把我俩都拖下水啊
What are you talking about? 你在说什么鬼东西
You're gonna tell me you didn't write her an anonymous letter... 你别装的好像不是你给玛丽写匿名信
telling her about our whole deal together? 告发我跟你干的那些苟且事？
What letter? 什么信？
Come on. 去你大爷的吧
It was you. 是你
You sent the letter. 你寄的信
It was you. 是你
We had a deal. You said you wouldn't fuck me and I wouldn't fuck you... 我们说好了的 你说你不会在背后捅我一刀子的 并且我一直都没狗过你……
until we got this fuck out of the fucking picture. 起码在我们把这货彻底解决以前
- You crossed the line, man. 你真是玩过界了兄弟 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, man. 哇哇哇 兄弟
You're getting crazy now. Why would I cross the line? 你现在有点神志不清了 我为什么要玩过界？
You probably did it yourself, you piece of shit. 或者是你自己这么干了，你个大傻逼
Oh, yeah. That makes a lot of sense. Why would I rat myself out? 噢 是啊 这真是一点毛病没有蛤 为什么我要把自己卖了？
Like I'm gonna try to figure out some guy... 说的好像我计划要理解你那个
whose idea of courting is blowing farts in her face. 像在女孩面前放屁求关注的表白理论一样
- You were following us. 你一直跟踪我们 - Don't flatter yourself. I was following her. 不要自我感觉良好了 我在跟着她
I always do. 我跟了她好久
How the hell do you think I got rid of the last guy, Brett? 你他么觉得我是怎么解决上一个情敌的 那个布雷特
Wait. Brett? Are you saying that Brett didn't say those things about Warren? 等等 布雷特？你是说那个布雷特没说那些关于华伦的坏话？
Are you shitting me? Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes? 你在逗我吧？道德圣人？
He was like an Eagle Scout. 他就好比是童子军里面最死板的那个
Wait a minute. You two should be kissing my fucking hairy beanbag, you know? 等等 你们两个应该好好亲亲我的蛋蛋毛 两个傻逼
Because if it wasn't for me, she might have married that schmuck. 因为如果我不这样，她就得嫁给那个傻逼了
I feel sick. 令人作呕
Both of you are just... 你俩真的是……
I'm out of here. 我要走了
Yeah. 行啊
You know, if it wasn't you who sent the letter and I never sent it... 你知道，如果不是你寄了那封信 而我也从来没寄……
who sent it? 那是谁寄的呢？
Oh, hey, Hal. 奥 嘿
I was worried about you. I thought that... 我还在担心你呢 我以为……
Oh, Sully. 苏利
Oh, my. 我了个老天
Woogie? 武吉？
Who the hell is Woogie? 武吉又是他么的哪根葱？
Hello. 你好
What are you doing here? 你在这干什么？
Did you get my letter, Mare? The one about Ted? 你收到我寄给你的信了么？关于泰德的那封？
You sent that? 你寄的？
I was worried about you. 我很记挂你啊
Woogie, you know you're not supposed to be within 400 yards of me. 武吉 你知道根据法律你不能靠近我400步以内
Yeah, I know. I do. In fact, you know... 是 我知道 我真的知道 事实上 你知道我……
that's what I really wanted to talk to you about. 我真的想跟你谈谈限制令的事
You know that I have actually been through nine years of intensive psychotherapy. 你知道，我实际上已经接受了九年的强化心理治疗
And you know something? You were absolutely right. I needed help. 你知道吗？ 你说的完全正确 我需要帮助
That's great, Woogie. I mean, I'm glad you're doing better. 真好啊武吉 我是说，我很高兴看见你慢慢好转了
You look... 你看起来……
- You look good. 你真美 - Thank you. 谢谢
Except for the rash thing's still there, right? 除了你脸上那些皮疹以外蛤？
Yes. You noticed, huh? These are called love blisters. 是的，你也看出来了蛤？这叫怦然心动痘
They went away for a little while, but then you came back in my life, milady. 爱情走了两步 发现不对，又回来了 我亲爱的
Woogie, I did not come back into your life. Okay? 武吉 我可没有重归你的怀抱好么
I don't even know how you found me. Let's not forget, here. 我都他妈不知道你怎么找到我的 咱就别提这茬了好么
You put me through a lot of bullshit, okay? 你简直把我放在茅坑里蘸了蘸 你知道么？
I had to change my name, I had to go to court, I moved. 我不得已改了名字 我还得去法院 我抛下过去往前走了
I mean, you stole all of my shoes. 我的意思是，你甚至把我的鞋子都偷走了
What? What are you talking about? 蛤？你在胡扯什么呢？
Woogie, I caught you red-handed. 武吉 我抓了你个现行了
I was in a weird place then, Mary. 那会我真的脑子不清醒 玛丽
Come on. Okay? Come on. 别这样行么 别这样
Give me a break here, okay? I was a little nuts, a little... 给我个机会行么？我过去是有点疯……
But I'm fine. 但是我现在好了
Woogie, you're starting to make me a little nervous. 武吉 你有点吓到我了
I'm making you feel nervous? Nervous? What's that? 我吓到你了？你害怕了么？
I wouldn't know anything about nervous. Jeez. 我根本就不知道什么叫害怕
You ever had a white head on your eyeball, Mary? 你眼睛里从来就没有我这个白脑袋是吧？玛丽
Woogie, I'm asking you to leave. 武吉，我在要求你离开我家
Oh, Mary. Oh, Mary, you got this all wrong. 奥 玛丽 我的玛丽 你完全理解错了
I'm not going anywhere. 我不会走的
Not until I get something to remember you by. 除非我能从你身上 拿点什么纪念品
Get your hands out of there. 把你的手拿开
- No. Woogie. 不 武吉 - Yeah. 是的
Let go. 放开她
Stop it. Stop! 住手 住手
Just one pair. You owe me that, you heartless bitch. 就一双鞋 这是你欠我的 你这个冷血无情的婊子
What the...? Hey. 我操你……嘿
Dom? You're pathetic. 多姆？ 你真可悲啊
Tucker, what happened to your crutches? 塔克 你的拐呢？
Yeah, well... 额……
Yes, very good query, Mary. Well done. 是的，问得很好 玛丽 做得好
Come on. Tell her the truth, pizza boy. 来吧，告诉她真相 披萨小伙
Name's Norm. 我叫诺曼
I live with my folks up in Pompano. Hey. 我和我的家人住在蓬帕诺 嘿
Oh, man. This is like group therapy or something. 哦，伙计，这就像是集体治疗之类的
Dom. What are you doing here? 多姆 你在这干嘛呢
You stole her from me, and now I want her back. 你把她从我身边偷走了 现在 我要把她拿回来
I stole her from you? What are you talking about? 从你身边偷走？你在说什么？
Woogie. How many times did I tell you this at Princeton? 武吉 在普林斯顿的时候我就告诉过你多少次了？
- Woogie? 武吉？ - Ted and I had one date. 泰德就和我约过一次会
- You and I were already broken up. 你和我已经分手了 - You're Woogie? 你是武吉？
Dom Woganowski. 多姆·武加诺夫斯吉
But you're married. You have a wife, beautiful kids. 但你结婚了啊 你有老婆有孩子了
Ted, if you love them so much, please, be my guest. 泰德 如果你愿意养活他们的话，请自便吧
All right, what the hell is going on here? Can someone explain it to me? 我靠 这到底是怎么个情况？有没有明白人给我解释一下
Look, we're all in love with Mary. 你听着，我们都为玛丽狂
Oh, God. 我去
If I may, I have a proposal. 如果可以的话，我要求婚了
I say none of us leaves this room... 所有人都不许走
until our young Mary here stops jerking us around... 直到我们美丽的女神 把我们从迷茫中唤醒
and decides, once and for all, who she really wants. 并且作出她的最终裁决，谁才能获得她的垂青
Now, Mary, I know this is tough... 现在 玛丽 我知道这很艰难
but you really will be doing them all a great favour to tell them the truth about us. 但是你一定要做一件善事 告诉他们我们俩的爱情
Are you crazy? What makes you think I would pick you anyhow? 你失了智吧？你凭什么觉得我会选你？
I mean, you're a murderer. 你是个杀人魔王啊
Well, I may have been blowing a little smoke up your ass there, Mary. 额 我曾经确实说了点谎话 玛丽
I'm sorry. 我很抱歉
- Touchdown. 成功 - Hi, Mary. 嗨 玛丽
- Brett? 布雷特？ - What the hell is Brett Favre doing here? 布雷特·法弗在这干锤子？
I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumb-ass. 我去镇上日海豚了，你个大傻逼
Yeah. I called him, Mary. I told him to pick up Warren and get down here. 是的，我给他打了个电话 玛丽 我告诉他去接上华伦然后来这里
See, your friend Tucker was lying about a couple of other things. 看吧，你的朋友塔克又在别的事上撒了个谎
Brett never said those bad things about Warren. 布雷特从来没说过那些关于华伦的坏话
He loves Warren. 他爱华伦
And from what he told me on the phone just now, he loves you too. 而且他刚刚在电话里也说了 他也爱你
He's the guy you should be with. 他才是值得你降下爱意的男人
That's right, Mary. You know I'll always be true to you. 是的玛丽 你知道我总是对你忠诚以待
Shit. This isn't fair. Jesus. 靠 这真的不公平
You know, I feel like an idiot. 你知道么 我感觉自己就是个笨蛋
See, I realised something today. I'm no better than any of these guys. 直到今天我才明白某些事情 我没有比这些追求者强到哪里去
I mean, none of them love you, really. 我是说，他们都不配爱你
They're just fixated on you because of how you make them feel about themselves. 他们对你着迷，只因为在你爱的赐福下，他们能找到失落的自己
I mean, that's not real love. That's... 这并不是真的爱情 这只是……
I don't know what that is. 我也不知道这是什么了
Please, Mary, don't listen to him. 求你了玛丽 别听他的
This is just another one of his stupid little ploys. 这只不过是他另一个无耻的谎言
You know, Stroehmann, you are so full of shit. 你知道么斯特罗曼，你真的连臭水沟的垃圾都不如
- Yeah. You're the biggest stalker of us all. 是啊 你是个变态跟踪狂 - You're gonna stand here and tell me... 你站在这，好好告诉我……
that you're not nuts about this girl? 你难道不为这个女人神魂颠倒？
Yeah, that's what I'm telling you. 是 这就是我要告诉你的
- Hey, good luck, Brett. 嘿 祝你好运布雷特 - Yeah. Thank you. 好 谢谢
She's a great gal. Take care of her. 她是个好女孩 照顾好她
I'll see you, Mary. 有缘再见吧玛丽
Bye, Ted. 再见 泰德
- Hey, Warren, see you later. 嘿，华伦 一会见 - Okay, goodbye, Ted. 好 再见 泰德
Goodbye. 再见
God, Mary, I've missed you. 天呐玛丽 我好想你
Hey, Brett. 嘿 布雷特
What are the chances I could get you to give me a little autograph? 我得做点什么才有机会让你给我个签名呢？
- Something nice to the wife and kids. 对老婆孩子好点 - What? 啥？
Oh, shut up. Cock tease. 噢闭嘴吧你个吃鸡巴的
Well, she's back with her old boyfriend. 哎，她和她的前男友复合了
He don't challenge her He don't contend with her. 他不会亵渎她的尊严，亦不会辜负她的爱意
And she don't answer the cards you send. 并且她也不会再理你一个字
And you're jealous of the time That he spend with her. 而每当你的女神和别人在一起的时候，你都会妒火中烧
Just let her go into the darkness. 就把她忘在无尽的夜空吧
Let her live for all the things there. 让她随心意而活
Let her go into the darkness. 就让她留在你内心最深处的角落
Let her go, let her go, let her go 忘掉她 感怀她 祝福她
Ted. 泰德
Mary? 玛丽？
Ted. 泰德
Mary. 玛丽
Ted. 泰德
You forgot your keys. 你忘拿钥匙了
Did you really mean what you said up there? 你之前说的话，你都当真么？
I just want you to be happy, Mary. 我只想让你幸福 玛丽
But I'd be happiest with you. 但我和你在一起，会更快乐
You're fucking with me, right? 你又在逗我了是么?
What about Brett Favre? 布雷特·法弗怎么办
What did I tell you the first time we met? 我们第一次相遇时，我告诉过你什么？
I'm a Niners fan. 我是尼克队的粉丝
♪ His friends would say ♪ ♪ Stop whining, they've had enough of that ♪ 他的朋友们都劝他 别再唧唧歪歪，我们听够了你的爱而不得
♪ His friends would say ♪ ♪ Stop pining, there's other girls to look at ♪ 他的朋友们都劝他 别再痴心不改，世界上总有别的女孩
♪ They've tried to set him up ♪ ♪ With Tiffany and Indigo ♪ 他们曾劝他安定下来，为恋人戴上爱情的项链
♪ But there's something about Mary ♪ ♪ That they don't know ♪ 但有一位叫玛丽的女子 他们不会明白她多么令人沉醉
What are you doing? 你在干什么？
- That's my girl he's kissing. 他在亲我的妹子 - But you just slept with me. 但你刚把我上了啊
I was only boning you to get to Mary. 我就是利用你去接近玛丽
And a one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 一、二、三、四、五、六、七、八